I only just posted about my sweet mother yesterday and the responses/messages I received were so helpful but I feel as though I still have so many unanswered questions and anger. I realize this is most likely grief consuming me and possibly even Shaytaan.
Why couldn’t Allah allow us to keep my sweet mom until she was old? Why did he seize me from so many opportunities.
Why did he take away everything that makes us human one by one - eating, showering, walking, speaking, breathing. Why did a woman as devout and kind as her deserve to suffer like that. Did she not deserve a graceful death.
Is it possible that she was not meant to die and the she died due to medical negligence? The hospital mistreated her for two weeks thinking she had other conditions and by the time they realized what was wrong, it was too late due to her deterioration. I am just so overwhelmed and honestly suffering so much.
I keep physically speaking to Allah, I’m researching but it’s so hard when you don’t know the religion the way your mom did. When you don’t have that same bond and faith.
Why randomly, would she get this pain, and die two weeks later. My best friends mum died to cancer but she had a chance to fight for 5 months before peacefully passing in her sleep. My other friend’s mum currently is on chemo and will require surgery but is expected to recover.
You did not see how she was tortured physically in that hospital. She only got by because I stayed by her side every single day and because she relied on Allah swt. But for me I have anger that he did this to her, to us. I know it’s wrong, but I needed my mum, we all needed her.
Now I have to spend the rest of my life watching people my age get old with their parents still alive, while my sweet mum is gone. Why would the Allah she loves so much do this to her and to us.
I’m probably going to get punished for these thoughts but I can’t get rid of them :I
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