I remember once making a dua request a while ago and it worked.
I think the thing I want most in the world at this moment is to be pleasing to God if I am not yet pleasing to him. And I know I must do the work for this and I’m going to.
I want to be wise like Aisha (RA), and embody the good character and religion of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). I wish I was thoughtful, and more in control of my emotions, and less childish and disorganized.
Asa everyone.
The more seriously I try to practice Islam, the more I start to feel like my entire life was/is haram.
And honestly, I don’t know how people cope with this mentally without becoming either completely numb or incredibly anxious.
I was raised Muslim by a revert mother and a father who either reverted very young or was born Muslim (long story). But most of my extended family is Christian... pastors, deacons, heavily involved in the church.
But since I was a kid, tawheed always made sense to me in a way Christianity never did. My faith in Allah swt was never really shaken.
The problem is… I grew up around Islam more than I was actually taught Islam.
We would go to Eid sometimes, jummah occasionally, and I’d see my father read Qur’an. But I didn’t grow up in a deeply practicing household where the rules, boundaries, and framework of Islam were really explained to me.
On top of that, I grew up as an African American Muslim in a very white area. I was the only one in my school kind of white area.
The only Muslims around me were mostly Arab families who kept to themselves. Not maliciously, but there was definitely distance there. I never fully felt like I belonged.
And honestly, a lot of what I saw from the Muslim kids around me confused me too. Dating, partying, taking hijab off at school, etc. So even though I wanted a Muslim community badly, I also felt disconnected from it.
So most of my real sense of belonging came from sports, playing instruments, taking care of my dogs (my parents worked a lot, so they were for protection), and the people around me at school.
Most of my friends were guys.
Not in a dating sense, they were honestly protective of me more than anything. I was bullied a lot growing up, and those friendships made me feel safe.
Then, as a teenager, I entered a heavily male-dominated sport my father introduced me to, and those men became like brothers to me.
Part of that was because my relationship with my father was difficult for a long time.
There was abuse in my household growing up. Alhamdulillah, I’ve forgiven him and our relationship is much better now, but at the time I leaned heavily on coaches, teammates, and mentors for positive masculine influence and emotional safety.
Sports, music, and even my dogs became my safe places.
Then in my late teens and early adulthood, I started taking Islam much more seriously.
I "re-took" my shahada, started praying 5 times a day, wearing hijab, stopped listening to/playing music, distanced myself from men...
And eventually stopped my sport because of the amount of physical contact involved.
This is where I started struggling mentally.
Because every time I fixed one thing… another thing became haram.
I was excited about hijab → then got told earrings were tabarruj.
So I covered more → then got told pants were haram.
I learned the way I interacted with male cousins I grew up with was haram.
The loans I used for college were haram.
Certain jobs became questionable so I quit.
Business funding = loans= haram.
Food ingredients became questionable.
Vanilla extract.
Nutmeg.
Alcohol-derived ingredients.
Delivery jobs because you may transport haram items.
And over time, it started feeling like almost every part of modern Western life had some spiritual danger attached to it.
I even started my own business partly so I could pray on time, avoid uncomfortable work environments, and structure my life more Islamicly.
But trying to survive financially while also avoiding every doubtful thing feels genuinely exhausting sometimes.
Especially because I rarely meet Muslims in real life who seem to think this deeply about these issues.
Most people seem either:
And lately I’ve noticed myself withdrawing more and more.
Staying inside.
Avoiding people.
Overthinking everything.
Not because I want dunya more than deen.
But because I’m scared of constantly doing things wrong.
And that doesn’t feel healthy.
It also doesn’t feel like the kind of existence Ar-Rahman and Al-Wadud want for us.
I understand Islam has rules and boundaries for our benefit, and I’m not questioning Allah swt
I think I’m struggling with how to pursue sincerity without falling into constant fear, hypervigilance, and isolation.
Especially for those of us who didn’t grow up with strong Muslim community, practicing families, or structured Islamic education.
Has anyone else experienced this?
How do you balance sincerity with mental and emotional well-being while living in the West?
 | Most of us hate bugs right ? I'm here to tell you why that hate and fear is greatly misplaced and harmful, first let's get the facts straight, the vast majority of bugs are totally harmless, cant Pierce your skin, cant infest your home etc, in 1.2 million species of insects less than a few thousand can harmw while it is normal to hate the harmful festering disease spreading ones (Cockroaches, ticks, mosquitoes) the bigger picture must be seen, and we should choose to see them as a whole for the good and the bad, you might respond that theyre just nasty right ? But i am pretty sure most of you eat shrimps and crabs, who are way closer genetically to a cockroach than to a spider which are commonly referenced as bugs. In fact theres no tangible barrier separating crustacean from insects, as some crustacean groups are closer to insects than they are to crabs etc, so eating some and slandering the other is kinda hypocrital if u ask, then many of you will say that this is a natural fear that youre born with, but no it is not, firstly studies have found that the fear of bugs is mostly learned by imitation or direct teaching, or maybe one experience who led to the labelling of the whole group As an example : https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6716607\](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6716607 But nobody is born with that fear and hate, even if you think you cannot get over it, you indeed can, you cant keep loathing animals that Allah swt praised like ants and bees, and this fear and hatred has many catastrophic impacts on the world. Firstly their extinction is deemed acceptable, bugs form the vast majority of animals wether it is in species or sheer individual numbers, but of all the species we try to save from extinction, most are mammals, birds or fishes, animals who while still useful, do not hold a candle to the usefulness of bugs in an ecosystem which we reap the fruits of everyday, Secondly it contributes to the overuse of pesticides, a wide chunk of people if not most see all bugs as undesirables, theyll be more eager to use bugspray and such compounds especially when it is not needed, they will in turn cause Cancers and all types of diseases among people, pollute soil water, and kill even more bugs that werent even sprayed, lowering their population even more and making essential species struggle even more as we are seeing a drastic fall in bug populations. I already know many already stopped reading or are telling themselves "who Cares, its just bugs ?" But no if all bugs went extinct tommorow over months millions would die, they pollinate our food, clean the streets and Woods out of any waste, without them disease and hunger would fester, ravaging through our populations, that is for all these reasons that i implore anyone Reading this to abandon this irrationnal fear, to see the majority of animals just like you see the fluffy minority, Allah prefers the strong Muslim over the weak one, now tell me what is strong about crashing out at the sight of a being 1000 times smaller than you, it is a weakness that we shouldnt transmit to the next generation ! Even if you dont think so, it is possible to get over this fear, people have already gone from fainting at the sight of spider to raising and handling them, and make their living from them now, so you can do it, I'm not asking for you to become a bug fanboy instantly, but to at least begin to see them for what they are, and remove the irrationnal disgust from your mind, in a nutshell have a neutral attitude Assalamu alaykum ! [link] [comments] |
Turkey is losing it's islamic population heavily.The youth that i'm also a part of is mostly irreligious they make fun of Allah Muhammad and Islam they look at it as inferior funny backwards.Sadly even more it is common to swear and say bad words to these topics they swear to Allah etc. and i can't stand this.The eastern region of the nation is more religious but still they aren't actually islamic they are just like that because that part of the country is more conservative.I plan on studying theology Turkey has some nice schools for studying Islam but i can't continue in a society like this.There are people as Islamic as me but unfortunately it's probably less than %10.We obviously do have practicing muslims but none of them are actually muslim they are just acting muslim they don't know their deen and even hijabi women are wearing open clothes and western outfits.Turkey has fairly good development and educated society and generally i think you can say it is almost developed or borderline developed nation same league as bulgaria russia china malaysia chile etc. but i can't live in a society like this it may sound off to you guys but yes Turkey the country that was once the face of Islam an Islamic superpower is now extremely liberal irreligious and against islam.Turkey is also islamophobic yes you heard that right this isn't valid everywhere but most urbanized modernized industrialized cities in Turkey has people that think like this.I'm currently a 12th grade student and never seen any other practicing muslim and when i speak about they make fun of islam or just sigh or look weird at me like i'm some kind of alien.I am very saddened by this the eastern part of the country is more religious but still it isn't islamic like Saudi,Qatar,Pakistan etc.The eastern part of Turkey does have religious and more conservative towns but they don't offer much opportunities and aren't very pleasant to live in.Also i will definitelly major in Theology and want to become a imam or sheikh etc. so basically want to live the Islamic life.What advice can you guys give me i want to live in a Islamic environment.Should i immigrate to a more Islamic nation.I probably can immigrate in the future but i don't want to go to a less developed place as well.Is immigrating to Gulf nations easy?If so can you guys recommend me colleges that are good for Islamic studies?My first requirement for immigrating is that the country should be Muslim not in name but actually muslim!!!
I was born in a Muslim household and am familiar with all the core tenets of Islam. However as of late, I am fed up of the same knowledge being regurgitated over and over again by Dawah youtubers and reddit.
I want to know some deep, profound knowledge about Islam that'll move me, It has been ages since I've been taken aback by something Islamic that I've read.
Please provide me resources to find such Islamic knowledge.
Even tho I was born a Muslim, When I was younger like 6 to 8 of age. , I thought the prophets were made up and I really didn’t realize Christianity had the same exact prophets as us … like for example prophet Dawud A.S when I heard about him
Slaying a Giant with a sling shot , my young mind was saying ain’t no way there were giants on this earth n he could’ve been crushed by that giant.. and I also didn’t really believe that musa split that sea or one thing what was surprised me that also when i was young that Isa A.S was our prophet in Islam , I used make fun of Jesus when I was young for not reason towards the Christians.. now I don’t at all knowing that he’s a prophet of Allah and will return back to kill the anti christ…
As I grew up older and read the Quran and listen to Islamic lectures than I believed it all , yes I’m not a
Perfect Muslim and I’m a sinner so I really didn’t much understand the Hadith’s and stories that were told at the mosques …
Even tho I’m in my
20s I’m still learning more , since I used to be astray due to my desires of this dunya …
Death is closer than we think , may Allah have mercy on my soul and bring me closer to him and for all the ummah of prophet Muhammad
( May peace be upon him)
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