I once read that Tahajjud is a gift from Allah to His servants a quiet intimate connection between a person and their Creator in the depth of the night when the world is asleep it feels as though Allah is calling My servant ask Me and I will give you there is a hadith in Sahih al Bukhari and Sahih Muslim describing Allah's mercy in the last third of the night and the call to those who ask seek forgiveness and make dua and I know not everyone is given the strength to wake up and turn to Allah in those moments which is why I have always considered Tahajjud something precious but last night I am struggling I feel so negative so tired of asking Allah for the same person over and over again I keep wondering why Allah is not giving me what my heart keeps begging for am I still being punished for something I never intended to do I made mistakes yes but I did not know certain things at the time and I never had the intention to hurt anyone so why do I still feel as though I have not been forgiven why is my heart still so restless why can I not find peace why am I still longing for someone I love so deeply even when that person continues to hurt me last night before I went to sleep he hurt my heart again and yet I still found myself praying for him I keep asking Allah why won't You give him to me and if he is not good for me then why won't You take this love out of my heart I know Allah says in Quran that perhaps we love something that is not good for us and dislike something that is good for us while Allah knows and we do not I know that Allah is closer than we can imagine and that He hears every dua but knowing these things and living through the pain are sometimes two very different things I am trying to trust His plan I really am I just wish my heart would understand it too
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from Islam https://ift.tt/IgMbYzl
