I'm terrified of doing mistakes in my salat because I feel like I'm not deserving of mercy, I know it's bad to think like this but it's so hard to not do it. Earlier I was breaking my fast and asking my parents about some mistakes I made while praying and my sister said that it looked like I was praying just out of fear and not out of love for Allah, I don't know how to fix it. For years, I've rejected Islam and I've lied about praying and fasting. I started praying again around 8 months ago and I'm still learning the basics of Islam, I never realized how many mistakes I used to make during my prayer until recently and I'm terrified of the thought of being seen as an hypocrite or someone not worth being loved by Allah. It's exhausting, I'm constantly scared of doing things wrong and this is making me delay worship. Even these last days of Ramadan are hard for me, at night I manage to pray Isha and a few rakats after then I try to make sincere duas and some dhikr but the next morning I just feel empty. I'm not sure if this is a test from Allah or if it's just me being pathetic and not worth being guided. I wanna start loving Allah more, same with the prophet Muhammad, I try to read more about him and try to follow the sunnah but I feel nothing when I do those things. I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm scared that I'm not worth being guided by Allah.
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