Salam everyone,
I need genuine advice, please no toxic comments or negativity. I am trying stop viewing my position as a women in Islamic marriage as only serving intimacy exclusively.
I feel that in marriage, there is soooo much emphasis on how I have to be available to my husband at all times (obviously not when sick or on period). Like I’m not opposed to being intimate with my husband at all, it’s just that the context and wording used in Hadiths makes it seem over and over how intimacy is sooo important and right of husband. I don’t deny that it’s important. I feel that it’s the main purpose for a wife and makes me feel like my purpose is just for intimacy. It makes me resentful for some reason. I don’t want to say it makes me feel objectified.
I don’t know why it’s made me feel that men are crazily obsessed with intimacy beyond what my mind can comprehend.
I feel that I can’t have regard in this topic and am not allowed to have feelings or opinions on it. Especially when I view intimacy as something emotional and sensitive.
The other thing is, again there is so much emphasis on the rights of husband and how a wife should strive to make him pleased and it’s the key to jannah for a women and how the entire Hadith of prostrating (I’m paraphrasing and I know it’s forbidden to prostrate to him, it’s just the emphasis that I am mentioning). The reason I can’t comprehend this is because I respect and listen and love my husband right… but I’m stuggling to understand why he deserves (for lack of a better word) me to view him soooo highly. Like he brings a lot to the table but so do I. I’ve known him for a few years and I genuinely see him as an equal partner but I feel like I’m supposed to view him almost like a king. I can understand if these statements were made for our parents right? Cause they poured years and energy and their lives to raise and love me but I cannot understand why the husband takes so much authority when I actively contribute so much to his life as well.
Please help me change my perspective. I want to be able to fully accept what Allah SWT ordered but my heart is stubborn.
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