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from Islam https://www.reddit.com/r/islam/comments/1vwg7d8/the_shyness_of_aysha_رضي_الله_عنها/
Hi, I had to take this job of 12 hours shift it's basically an Odd job and the place has Probably worst washing facilities I have Faced, and I need Time and tissues After Peeing to make myself properly clean(I don't know any other way to solve this problem ) and ready to pray but the place of course doesn't have it. Now back in place where I have accomodations for this job has the same washing facilities if not worse. I feel like I am praying with Najas and keep crying to Allah to Forgive me For the Situation I have Put myself into but I had no other way I need this for at least a month. Under these Circumstances how Should I pray My five times Salah ? (Please Provide confirmed references from scholars) Sometimes this feeling ( I shouldn't say feeling I know that I am not clean) Uncleanness will get into my head and I would miss Prayer. Apart from Giving me solution for this please Make Dua for me to get out of this situation
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Assalamu alaikum everyone. I am planning to pray Istikhara for the very first time tonight. My relationship of soo many years recently ended after a very painful and difficult situation, but my heart is deeply attached and I am completely shattered but my heart still wants him in my life anyhow. I don't know why this feeling is so strong, why I am yearning this much, and why it hurts this deeply maybe because I love him a lot and poured my entire heart and prayers into him for years.
Since this is my first time, how do I go about praying Istikhara . Please guide me.
Thankyou.
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In current state of the world where islamphobia is raising I want to remind Muslims that you must protect your faith by learning and reading about it not just get enough in reading the Quran and listening to the prophet story Islam is more than that try making time small time to a lesson or a lecture where a shiekh is explaining Islam in aqida or fiqh ofcourse within your madhab don't confuse yourself right now
Few years ago when I was 19 I started to suffer from heavy waswas and it ruined my mind I would make wudu like ten times for one prayer I would repeat the same prayer for two times at least thinking I have made a mistake I started going to google and ask about my condition the more I read the more I felt I need to know more with time alhamdullilah I watched many Islamic courses that some of them were hundreds of videos just to explain one book about fiqh or aqida or tafsir each video were from 45 min to 1:30h either by 2x or normal speed the thing I have known about my religion that when I make a mistake in a prayer or wudu in what should I do without googling I know I need to learn more but I feel much better now I know what I want learn and what to do
So my advice is try making time for Islam in your life even if you feel like the most sinner in the world let Islam fix you by learning about it
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 | Assalamu alaikum, I've been looking into good protein powders to use and GHOST and RYSE were two of the biggest names that kept coming up, especially when it came to flavour. However, I couldn't find much information online regarding whether GHOST Whey was halal compliant, particularly regarding the source of the rennet used to produce their whey, so I decided to email them directly. I'm sharing their responses here in hopes that it helps anyone else currently or in the future who's wondering the same thing. TLDR: GHOST confirmed that their whey uses microbial rennet and their digestive enzymes are sourced from fruits and vegetables. They specifically confirmed Coffee Ice Cream, Milk Chocolate, and Peanut Butter Cereal Milk as halal compliant, although not halal certified. Based on their responses, the whey base itself doesn't appear to be an issue, so for other flavours it mainly comes down to checking the additional flavour specific ingredients. GHOST hasn't verified every ingredient or flavouring across every flavour, but from the ones I've looked at, most don't seem to contain anything obviously non halal. Obviously do your own due diligence based on the standard you follow. Screenshots of my conversation with GHOST are attached below. [link] [comments] |
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Assalm alakium I’m Oscar, I am/was Christian,Catholic.recently Ive been on doubt about catholism I’ve realised how the trinity doesn’t make sense and how ISA (AS) has never Cali me d to be God.ive been leading the basics of Islam about the 5 pillars also about Salah my family only understands Islam from a “media” point of view I’d like to revert to Islam inshallah dose any body have any tips to help me on my journey or any advice
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If i loan a person money but he gives me my money back with no interest whatsoever same amount but he got a loan from the bank with interest to pay me back is it halal or no for me to take the money?
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from Islam https://ift.tt/wls0QAN
I once read that Tahajjud is a gift from Allah to His servants a quiet intimate connection between a person and their Creator in the depth of the night when the world is asleep it feels as though Allah is calling My servant ask Me and I will give you there is a hadith in Sahih al Bukhari and Sahih Muslim describing Allah's mercy in the last third of the night and the call to those who ask seek forgiveness and make dua and I know not everyone is given the strength to wake up and turn to Allah in those moments which is why I have always considered Tahajjud something precious but last night I am struggling I feel so negative so tired of asking Allah for the same person over and over again I keep wondering why Allah is not giving me what my heart keeps begging for am I still being punished for something I never intended to do I made mistakes yes but I did not know certain things at the time and I never had the intention to hurt anyone so why do I still feel as though I have not been forgiven why is my heart still so restless why can I not find peace why am I still longing for someone I love so deeply even when that person continues to hurt me last night before I went to sleep he hurt my heart again and yet I still found myself praying for him I keep asking Allah why won't You give him to me and if he is not good for me then why won't You take this love out of my heart I know Allah says in Quran that perhaps we love something that is not good for us and dislike something that is good for us while Allah knows and we do not I know that Allah is closer than we can imagine and that He hears every dua but knowing these things and living through the pain are sometimes two very different things I am trying to trust His plan I really am I just wish my heart would understand it too
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Hi everyone. I’ve been feeling a little lost lately, and I thought I’d come here and ask for some advice from an Islamic perspective.
I feel like my iman has been quite low recently. My prayers feel distant, and in general, I feel disconnected from Allah and from life itself. I feel guilty about it, but at the same time, I almost feel numb to that guilt, which makes me feel even more lost.
My life has also felt incredibly stagnant lately. I’m not really sure how to explain it, but it feels like I’m just stuck in the same place while everything around me keeps moving. I keep waiting for something to change, but I don’t know when or how that change will come.
I also struggle a lot with comparing my life to other people’s. I constantly look at how other people are finding love, getting jobs, reaching their goals, or simply moving forward, and I wonder why my own path seems so much harder. I know everyone has their own struggles and that we’re not supposed to compare our journeys, but it’s something I find really difficult to stop doing. Sometimes it genuinely feels like I’m stuck in a loop of struggles.
Another thing I’ve been struggling with is making dua. When there are things I want, I sometimes feel selfish for asking Allah for them. Other times, I feel like I’m not worthy enough to ask for certain things, especially when my own iman and prayers aren’t where I want them to be.
I know that Allah is Merciful and that He tells us to call upon Him, but I think I’m struggling with actually feeling worthy of turning to Him and asking for what I want.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you find your way back to Allah when your iman felt low? How did you deal with constantly comparing your journey to everyone else’s? And how did you learn to make dua without feeling like you weren’t worthy of asking?
I’d really appreciate any advice, personal experiences, or reminders. Thank you 🤍
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Salaam,
Please forgive the rambling nature of this post, I just needed to articulate my feelings and hopefully find ways to find a community.
I took my shahada last year and I have yet to find a mosque or community. I am an American woman who was raised and educated in orthodox Catholicism. I am religiously Muslim but I am ignorant of the many cultural practices vs. religious ones. I find myself nervous about whether or not I am saying the prayers right. Am I fulfilling my obligations to Allah? Basically, am I doing this right? I have always been welcomed and treated with respect at the masjid, but I also feel very separated from the community. I had hoped to find women’s study group, but I have not found a place I feel comfortable. This is more a reflection of my own anxiety rather than treatment by others.
I have also found myself distancing myself from my friends because mostly interactions involve drinking and I no longer drink. Furthermore, I am finding that when I tell people I am Muslim, they assume that I converted for a man. In actuality it was a result of years of study and prayers. I have been divorced for 10 years and have made peace with living the rest of my life alone. But the assumption is annoying and hurtful. So, I don’t tell people anymore. I just try to be the best Muslim I can be in the eyes of Allah and keep my religion private. Is this the wrong approach?
I find great peace and comfort in salat and in the Quran. However, my life is very solitary and lonely. Ramadan and holidays I spend alone. I always pray alone. I eat alone. This was true before I converted, but people have also faded away once I told them.
Alhamduallah. I trust in the wisdom of Allah, but I wonder are we supposed to be alone like this?
Anyways… thank you for listening.
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Let us remember to love the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) with sincerity. This love however should also appear in our actions, not merely verbal expressions.
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Came across this online and it stayed with me, so I'm sharing it here for anyone carrying debt or worry about provision right now.
The Prophet ﷺ taught it (narrated via Abu Hurayrah, Sahih Muslim 2713), and it's often recited before sleep, lying on the right side:
اللَّهُمَّ رَبَّ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَرَبَّ الْأَرْضِ وَرَبَّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ، رَبَّنَا وَرَبَّ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ، فَالِقَ الْحَبِّ وَالنَّوَى، وَمُنْزِلَ التَّوْرَاةِ وَالْإِنْجِيلِ وَالْفُرْقَانِ، أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ أَنْتَ آخِذٌ بِنَاصِيَتِهِ. اللَّهُمَّ أَنْتَ الْأَوَّلُ فَلَيْسَ قَبْلَكَ شَيْءٌ، وَأَنْتَ الْآخِرُ فَلَيْسَ بَعْدَكَ شَيْءٌ، وَأَنْتَ الظَّاهِرُ فَلَيْسَ فَوْقَكَ شَيْءٌ، وَأَنْتَ الْبَاطِنُ فَلَيْسَ دُونَكَ شَيْءٌ، اقْضِ عَنَّا الدَّيْنَ وَأَغْنِنَا مِنَ الْفَقْرِ.
O Allah, Lord of the heavens, Lord of the earth, and Lord of the Mighty Throne, our Lord and Lord of everything, Splitter of the seed and the date-stone, Revealer of the Torah, the Gospel, and the Criterion (the Quran). I seek refuge in You from the evil of every thing You seize by the forelock (i.e., over which You have full control). O Allah, You are the First and there is nothing before You; You are the Last and there is nothing after You; You are the Manifest and there is nothing above You; You are the Hidden and there is nothing nearer than You. Settle our debts for us and spare us from poverty.
May Allah accept it from all of us and relieve everyone struggling.
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So I am not muslim,but I was with two my muslim friends infront of mosque and we were sitting on bench and random kitty came to me jumped on my lap and started sleeping 😭
Two of them wanted her to pet her but she bited all of is and wouldn't move from me,she would just look at me and be all clingy around me.
I know that cats have some blessing in Islam.I was just wondering.
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Assalamu Alaikum everyone,
I am writing this with a heavy but hopeful heart. I am a young Muslimah currently going through a very difficult phase of spiritual isolation and loneliness, and I desperately need some advice or just to know that I am not alone.
My Situation: I recently returned to Islam (Alhamdulillah) and started praying my 5 daily prayers. However, I am the only one in my immediate family who practices. My parents and sister do not pray, and unfortunately, their main daily conversations revolve around backbiting (Ghibah), judging others, and speaking ill of people. It breaks my heart every day. I feel like an intruder in my own home, unable to share my spiritual joy or struggles with them.
A few weeks ago, I met a brother online who helped me open my eyes to the beauty of Islam. We had deep, respectful conversations about the Prophet (peace be upon him) and our faith. He was the first person I could talk to about Deen without being judged. We both had serious intentions regarding marriage, and he seemed to share my values (wanting to marry young, work hard, etc.).
However, a few days ago, he went silent. He mentioned he was sick and needed space. I tried to send him messages but no answer it was like he was ghosting me so I performed Istikhara and felt a sense of peace, but my heart is still anxious due to the silence. To protect my mental health and stop the anxiety of waiting for a message, I made the difficult decision to delete him completely. I want to rely solely on Allah and stand on my own feet.
Now, I feel incredibly lonely. Seeing my family’s behavior contrasts so sharply with the respectful connection I had, and it makes me wonder: "Why did Allah give me a taste of this beautiful companionship only to take it away?"
I am torn between:
-Trusting that this silence is a test or a protection from Allah.
-The fear that I might be left alone in this environment forever.
-Wondering if I made the right choice by cutting off contact completely to save my peace.
Has anyone here experienced being the only practicing Muslim in their family? How do you cope with the loneliness and the pain of seeing your loved ones engage in sins like backbiting and not paying ? Also, for those who have experienced a similar situation with a loved one someone you had grown attached to who suddenly stopped reaching out: How did you handle the waiting? Did you find peace of mind by cutting off all contact?
I am seeking spiritual strength and advice, and I want to remind myself that Allah is sufficient for me. Any counsel or supplication (Dua) would be invaluable to me.
Jazakum Allahu Khayran.
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i’m doubting islam but at the same time i know is the true and i don’t want to have these doubts anymore
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One day, my uncle said to me, "You're thinking about yourself. You need to think about your mother and your younger sister." I have individualistic nature.
Why do they consider me responsible for their happiness? My mother has $14,000 (I'm from developing country, and this is big money) and a three-room apartment; that money will last her the rest of her life, even after she retires.
Yesterday, I lost my temper and said I wanted to move out. My grandmother said she wouldn't allow it, and my mother did too; they seemed scared. Why are they afraid of my decisions?
My therapist told me I should discuss my future plans with them. But whenever I bring up the subject, they either dismiss my dreams, tell me to do it later, push their own plans on me, invoke god, or pull other strange behaviours like that. Why are they so afraid of me becoming independent(emotionally and financially)?
Also my therapist told them to treat me as a young adult. But the moment they walked outside of the therapist office, they forgot the advice
I want to find a therapist who will stand by me; I want to find a job—to support myself, move out, pay for therapy, and save up to achieve my dreams. Why do they want me to put my plans on hold and force their own solutions on me?
Some people told me to respect them strongly. the more I respect them, they are treating me like shit. one day my mom called me monkey because I didn't want to get haircut.
if I ever follow their paths, I will be depressed and anxious for the rest of my life. They just don't care about my mental health!
I tried everything I have learned from Islam or psychology. They are just making me keep stuck. I faced guilt-trips, gaslighting, minimising, comparison and every type of manipulation. I JUST WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE
Sometimes my family gives unasked advice and doesn't take it. it feels like they are hypocrites. for example, my mum told me to accept people because I can't change them, however she tries to change me, my personality, my behaviours.
You may say "bring imam or older people and talk with your parents". if I did that, they would protect my family's opinions instead of me. I have seen a lot of imams doing that.
my only salvation is to find a psychologist who stand with me
Please I need assurance or advice on this topic. I don't care about my Heaven or Hell right now. I want to live my life
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I have seen people saying to "control your nafs". My question is how can we do that? Like the practical steps. How can we control our desires. Lately I feel I have become a victim of my own nafs. I keep committing sins. Sins vary from open to private. Sometimes I feel like committing the sin will be the only option to be at ease (knowing very well that what I am doing is wrong and i will feel intense guilt afterwards). I really hate myself to be in this situation. So kindly guide me, how can I kill my nafs or make it under my control?
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Im mentally and emotionally exhaused im tired i feel like panicking somewhere in my body does not feel right anymore i thought it would get better by time i was praying Allah heals it also um i returned to the old bad habit i didnt want to i had a lot of negative energy i felt yesterday i dont lknow if im under a curse or whatever but please pray Allah protects me and help me im tired
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It's typically the male's responsibility to be the provider, right?
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Assalamu Alaikum everyone,
I’m posting here because I am at a very low point emotionally and spiritually, and I really need some advice and motivation to reconnect with Allah.
Recently, I went through a situation where someone I deeply trusted treated me with immense coldness, deceit, and injustice. It completely shattered my peace, and honestly, it feels like it ruined a major part of my life and mental health. I’ve been struggling with intense anger and a deep desire for justice. I want them to realize the gravity of the pain they caused me, and it hurts seeing them move on completely unbothered.
Because I’ve been so drained, overwhelmed, and emotionally crushed, my energy has hit zero, and I’ve fallen completely behind on my prayers. Now, I’m stuck in a loop where I feel unworthy of turning to Allah or asking Him for help because I haven't been praying consistently.
I really want to start praying again and fix my heart, but every time I try, I feel so heavy and defeated.
if anyone has been through this, how do you force yourself to start praying again when you feel completely broken? also any reminders or hadiths about Allah’s justice for someone who was wronged would mean a lot right now.
Please keep me in your duas. JazakAllah Khair.
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So something I've been thinking about recently is the importance of community in Islam.
Ultimately, Islam is about our individual relationship with our Creator. Each of us will stand before God alone, accountable for our own choices. But one of those choices will be how we carry ourselves in relation to the people around us right. Our environment and our community are a part of our test.
For example, why is a public shahadah important if imaan is ultimately a matter of the heart right? Because becoming Muslim doesn't just affect you. It means other Muslims now have rights and responsibilities towards you, and you towards them.
Also, why is a public marriage important? Because a marriage doesn't only unite two individuals. It affects families, social responsibilities, and the wider community.
Something else I've noticed is the number of people who ask, "My imaan feels weak, what should I do?" (Though quite often these posts get deleted pretty quick) More often than not, one of the biggest factors is the company we keep. We are social creatures. Surrounding ourselves with people of good character, good adab, and sincere faith can really influence our own hearts. And Shaytan knows that isolation makes us more vulnerable.
So perhaps it's worth asking ourselves “What kind of community am I choosing to surround myself with?” That choice itself is an act of our free will, and I wouldn't be surprised if it’s one of the things for which we’re each held accountable for on the Day of Judgment.
And Allah knows best. ^_^
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A man came to the Prophet ﷺ and said: "Advise me!" The Prophet ﷺ replied: "Do not become angry." The man repeated his request several times, hoping for more advice, but each time the Prophet ﷺ gave him the same answer: "Do not become angry." (Sahih al-Bukhari 6116)
At first glance, this seems like simple, almost obvious advice. But the repetition itself is the lesson. The Prophet ﷺ wasn't just answering a question — he was pointing to anger as the root of so many other sins: harsh words we can't take back, broken relationships, decisions we regret, even violence. Controlling anger isn't a small matter; it's foundational to good character (husn al-khuluq).
Scholars have noted that anger clouds judgment and weakens a person's connection to Allah in that moment. That's why the Prophet ﷺ also gave practical steps elsewhere: sit down if you're standing, make wudu if needed, and remove yourself from the situation if possible.
What strikes me most is that true strength, as the Prophet ﷺ described in another hadith, isn't about overpowering others — "The strong one is not the one who overcomes people through his strength, but the one who controls himself while in anger" (Sahih al-Bukhari 6114).
I'd love to hear from others: what practical steps have helped you control your anger in difficult moments? Are there other hadiths or verses that have helped you reflect on this?
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I am sorry if what I am about to write violates the rules, but I don't think I have anywhere else to turn to for assistance. And yes, this is a burner account to maintain my privacy.
I am a male residing in Canada, born to a Muslim household. I will not reveal my exact age to do my best at honouring the rules, but I would like some advice for my course of action for what I am about to reveal next. When I was just a little kid, my parents separated. I remember one day Mama packed suitcases with our clothes in it, brought some of my LEGOs, and the two of us and my younger brother left in a taxi for a women's shelter, all while Baba was in the Middle East for work. At the time, I didn't know what was happening, and if I did, I now realize that by my past innocence, I would have been incapable of understanding. Of the less-than-majority of families that are destroyed, by my luck, I just so happened to have been birthed into that subgroup. 2 years after the fact, my parents officially divorced, and Baba lost his job in the same year.
So much money that could have gone to myself and my brother was lost as a result. Consequentially, 4 years later without having the adequate funds, he had to sell the house. And, of course, he just so happened to have been forced to sell his home when houses costed a fraction of what they are priced at today. Since Baba had lost his job, he turned to day-trading. For all of another 2 years, he struggled with this skill and lost large sums of money, with the circumstances degrading to the point of having to worry about rent and acquiring sustenance. I remember once that, when Baba was dropping me off with Mama, he hugged us and walked away, crying. I couldn't understand why. For all that time, I had prayed that he could be successful with day-trading, or that he could land work that paid handsomely, the latter of which ended up happening by the end of these 2 years.
For a time, it seemed there would be peace, an escape from this nightmare, but it was not meant to be, as he was laid off after little more than a year later. Then I thought this cycle of torment was going to occur again, until he had some degree of success with day-trading. It took a few months of struggle, but he was able to make more money in a few weeks than any of his jobs would have paid him in months. And so, we moved to rent a larger place, now that he had the means for this.
Another 2 years later, and here I am, writing this, struggling to keep my eyes dry. For a short while, Baba had success day-trading, until as of last year, he has been struggling to make anything. It seems as though this cycle just repeats itself. I have been praying to Allah where I can, and while I see some improvement in this situation, it is only short-lived. I don't know what else I can do. Day-trading is extremely difficult, and I don't even have the funds to get started. I have no experience yet, I have had no luck acquiring a job, not even one that pays minimally. My Baba can't get a job because of racism and that the oil-patch has little activity.
If Allah exists, and I want every reason to believe He does and He listens to my asking, why must we always struggle? There are lots of families that seem to have it all, and they have never had to struggle with wealth. Sometimes I just wish I never entered this world, and while some may argue that life is precious and that life has meaning, an embryo can be grown from so much as a Petri dish, with singular cells of sperm and ovum. Not just that, but what of all the beings in this world that have destroyed the lives of others? And while I am aware that there are people in situations that could not even compare to what I have to deal with, for instance, the people of Palestine, they too have my prayers. So many nights I would just weep, wishing I would not have to wake up the following morning, asking myself why Allah has allowed my parents to have me if this is where I have ended up. Does Allah loathe and resent me? In all honesty, I am terrified of what is about to happen in regards to our finances. No one deserves to struggle.
For all those that have made it to the end, I would like to thank you for taking your time to read this. As I have come to learn as I have grown older, time is one of the most valuable resources one can have, so truly, I appreciate your efforts.
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Honest opinions and no disrespecting only please.Did sheikh get cooked? Or the guy godlogic. And can someone explain the vid godlogic uploaded saying he cooked sheikh for 25 mins? I did not understand what he said جزاکم اللہ خیرا
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I’ve been struggling for about 3 months now and I’m honestly scared.
I feel like I’m slowly losing my iman. Nothing feels right anymore. It’s like everything is going wrong at the same time. My deen, my health, my job, university, money, sleep… everything.
I still try to pray and have sabr but deep down I keep getting thoughts that maybe religion isn’t real or that it’s not helping. I hate those thoughts and I don’t want to believe them but they keep coming back! I’m scared that this means I’m leaving Islam or becoming a disbeliever.
I know life is a test, and I know Allah tests people! I really do believe that but this just feels so hard. What doesn’t make sense to me is why I would be tested in a way where I feel like I’m suffering all the time and can’t even take my university or my religion seriously anymore? That’s what scares me the most because those feelings are making me fall deeper and deeper.
I also feel like Allah is punishing me because I haven’t taken my deen or university seriously enough. I don’t even know if that’s true but that’s how it feels. My heart just feels empty.
I have almost no motivation to pray anymore even though I want to. Everything feels wrong inside me and I feel like I’m suffering every single day.
Has anyone been through something like this? How did you deal with it? I really don’t want to lose my faith!
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I wanted help and advice on how I'm supposed to make dua and what's the correct way of making dua
After I've finished with prayer i do dhikr and then bow down ( sujood ) and pray to allah sometimes in arabic and sometimes in kurdish but I've been told arabic is better to use
In prayer when i finish tahyat i lower my shahada finger and make dua but i used to move my mouth when making dua before ending my prayer but then i learned it breaks my prayer as am i not supposed to do any movement other than those in prayer. So i started making my duas in my heart without moving my lips and i use both Kurdish and Arabic
At other times i raise both of my hands in front of my shoulders with my palms facing me and after I'm done with dua i wipe my face but I've also been told I'm not supposed to do that
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Pls help me i need support
... all I need is forgiveness and shifa from Allah ya raab...ameen
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Does Allah make people sin so they could turn to him? I am constantly sinning and returning to Allah and I'm trying to stop but it always returns. I don't lose hope because that what he says. Is it wrong for me to always know that Allah will forgive me?
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Recently I’ve been really distant away from Islam in general i know it’s probably because of the content that I consume (ex Muslim content etc.) but I realized I barley know anything about my religion, even tho I have one guz memorized I couldn’t explain to u anything that’s being said, so i decided to take a break from trying to memorize and instead try to understand what the Quran and hadiths are saying so when I get put in the situation where I need to defend my religion I’m confident in what’s being said and I know that I genuinely understand and feel my religion deeply, I don’t mind if this process will take long but if you guys have any tips or resources please lmk
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I've been studying, literally for years your beautiful religiion but it is very hard to find help other than is what is in books, or lectures. I've been invited to a rumah (?) and was very much overwhelmed with the solidarity I found there. I realize how difficult in these times it is to teach non muslims. What I don't know is how to be sure I am learning properly without offending anyone. thanks
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The Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, said: “The best of you are those who learn the Qur’an and teach it.”
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Basically the title. I started wearing it at 13 because I thought that I looked good with it and got influenced by some friends. Never by the words of god.
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Hey all, I want to learn about Islam, I was born Muslim thankfully and I pray and everything, but when it comes to Islamic knowledge I feel like I’m not that aware of a lot of stuff. I also want this for when I have kids, I don’t know how to make them love their deen and worship god out of love. If you guys have any suggestions like videos, articles, or books, I would really appreciate it.
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Assalamualaikum, hope you all are doing well.
I have a question for those of you who pray Tahajjud, or have prayed Tahajjud , did you notice any difference in how your duas were accepted when you sleep first and then wake up for Tahajjud? As from what I understood, if we stay awake and pray, it’s called Qiyam al Layl
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As-salamu alaykum I'm here to ask is it haram to watch romance animes I have been watching it and it does not lead me away from my prayers or anything and it does not lead me to do sinful acts is it haram to watch it ? By romance anime I mean the animes where they have relationship before marriage where they hold hands or kiss but I can close my eyes.
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Going through a lot of difficulties in my marriage and have been reciting Surah Al Baqarah daily. Was wondering if anyone has any experiences with reciting this Surah for any hardship in their life and what has it done to them and their life?
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I am a young female living back with my parents after moving out for university. My family dynamic has been an emotional rollercoaster my whole life, including past emotional and physical abuse. My mum is largely emotionally abusive and my dad was physically (not anymore).
Right now, they are either super nice to me or extremely horrible, my mum usually insulting me/ swearing/ screaming for no reason/ getting extremely emotional over everything. There is no middle ground.
Its causing alot of distress and its coming out in the form of insomnia/anxiety attacks/crying/snapping/ worsened period pains and wanting to isolate from everyone.
For context my friends are all still at university so there is no other escape from my house apart from work/gym/one hour walk(which im allowed only on weekends).
I have a few main questions:
Why do I feel physically nauseous when they are nice to me? Is this normal? It almost feels worse than when they are mean because I feel guilty for not appreciating their ‘niceness’. I love them but it’s very difficult to act okay with them when i remember how they treat me usually/in the past.
How do I cope when they all gang up on me or mock me for being the "odd one out" in the family?
As a Muslim, I know we are taught to show mercy and respect to our parents, which makes this incredibly difficult and confusing. I cannot move out right now because I haven't saved enough money yet, and cutting contact completely would cause permanent damage to my relationship with them.
How do i stop reacting? And stop taking everything personally/being sensitive to what they do to me?
How do I protect my peace and stay okay while saving up to leave?
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Peace be upon you.
I have been thinking deeply about something regarding human nature and the concept of good and evil in Islam, and I would really appreciate an Islamic perspective.
Islam teaches that Allah created humans upon the fitrah, that we have the ability to choose between right and wrong, and that we are accountable for our choices. But I find myself struggling with a question: if all humans are created with the potential for goodness, why do some people seem to have such a strong inclination towards the opposite?
When I look at people, it seems that some individuals naturally lean towards kindness, compassion, patience, and forgiveness. They seem to have a heart that is drawn towards good. But others seem to struggle with much darker inclinations like anger, selfishness, pride, resentment, and the desire to hurt others when they themselves are hurt.
This makes me wonder: does Islam acknowledge that some people may be created with a nature or temperament that makes them more inclined towards evil than others?
I ask this partly because of a personal struggle. Sometimes I feel like I am not naturally drawn towards goodness in the way other people are. I want to be good, and I do try, but sometimes doing the right thing feels like I am going against my own nature. When I think about forgiveness, for example, I understand that Islam encourages us to forgive and show mercy, but sometimes I wonder how someone can genuinely forgive when their heart is filled with anger and resentment?
Sometimes my first instinct is not mercy, but protecting myself, holding onto hurt, or wanting someone who wronged me to feel the same pain. When I try to choose kindness or forgiveness for the sake of Allah, I sometimes question whether it is sincere because a part of me does not naturally want to do it.
This leads me to a bigger question: are all people truly created with the same inclination towards goodness, or are some people given a harder internal battle from the beginning?
Could someone genuinely feel like they are “made” to be a bad person, not because they want to justify their actions, but because their natural thoughts and desires seem to pull them towards things they know are wrong?
If Allah knows the nature of every person, and he creates people with different personalities, desires, and struggles, why would everyone be expected to have the same ease in becoming righteous?
Is the person who has to fight against themselves every day to choose good viewed differently by Allah than the person for whom goodness comes naturally? Could the struggle itself have value, even if the goodness does not feel natural?
I am not asking this to deny responsibility or excuse sins. I understand that Islam teaches accountability. I am asking about the deeper question of human nature: whether some people are simply given a more difficult battle with their nafs, and how Islam understands someone who feels like goodness is something they have to fight for rather than something that comes naturally
Jazakum Allahu khayran
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my sister has a jinn inside her or a family of jinns and me and my family don’t know what to do wallahi. i urgently NEED help and advice or anyone with experience to talk to about this
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My mother’s baddua is destroying my life. How do I lift a deceased parent’s curse?
I am the eldest son. My mother passed away 3 years ago. She was a good woman who sacrificed everything for us, but she had diabetes and severe anger issues. When she got extremely angry she would sometimes make baddua, and my father would tell her to stop because it might be the time of acceptance. I was 16 — immature, lazy, a mischievous child. I did things most kids do, but I took them too far. She would say I would realize her value after her death. I didn’t understand.
After her death, our family collapsed. Troubles came one after another. Our financial situation is poor. My father once had a good life but it was destroyed by black magic. He gives everything so I can study and support him. But I’m becoming a loser. I can’t be consistent. I have ADHD. I’ve tried everything: daily prayers, sincere taubah, weeping in sujood. Every single time it feels like I’m knocking on a door where no one is. I get no peace. I’m falling into addictions. I’m becoming a man I never wanted to be and I can’t stop it. Nothing is in my control.
I have analyzed this deeply. This is not a test from Allah. This is not black magic. This is my mother’s baddua, and I would bet my life on it.
My dreams were never selfish. All my goals are for welfare, for family, for something greater. Still my life is like this. I get dark, intrusive thoughts — sometimes suicidal, sometimes whispers of atheism — but I know I won’t act on them. That’s not who I am. But I cannot fight my mind for the rest of my life. I don’t have the time to wait for “good days.” What is my family’s sin to have a son like me? I just want to earn so they can live in ease.
I need a solution rooted in the Qur’an and Sunnah. How do you lift a mother’s baddua when she is already in her grave? What kaffara (expiation) exists for the one who has no money? What did the Prophet ﷺ teach about reversing a parent’s justified curse? If anyone has real, specific guidance — du’as, actions, amal from the salaf, anything — please tell me. I am not looking for generic advice. I need the rope.
Please keep replies kind. I am barely holding on.
This post is written with the help of ai
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I live in the west and would like some ideas as all I can think of is a well but wondering if anyone had any suggestions?
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I've been thinking a lot about how people learn Islamic history.
A lot of us know individual stories, names, or events, but sometimes the bigger timeline and connections between people, places, and civilizations feel difficult to understand.
I'm curious:
- If you could redesign how Islamic history is taught, what would you change?
- What parts of Islamic history do you wish were explained better?
- Are there scholars, scientists, cities, or events you think more people should know about?
Not promoting anything, just trying to understand how people learn and what gaps exist.
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If you are reading this just give me one chance to fix everything, all my victories belong to you!
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 | Some of my fav quotes from this book I'm reading currently [link] [comments] |
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Before becoming more religous, i had some creative hobbies. The crearive outlets i've had, i've had to leave them, since nearly all of them seem to have some level of haram. I was getting experienced in making music, and also getting into making games and, later, character designs. I've really wanted to make games for some reason. To tell a story, design the environments, the chsracters, the entire experience, interests me.
Though these ambitions are difficult to fulfill whilst respecting Islams boundaries. I've tried, and i just feel kind of lost regarding how much difference of opinion there is. For example, some scholars say removing all facial features is fine, some say remove the head completely, and some say don't even make silhouettes. If i must, i can avoid working with characters, stories etc. but i don't know what to replace it with. Although i can work with inanimate, environment art instead of with characters, sound design instead of music, it would be nice to be able to build something more based off it and really flesh it out. But making games, animations, even if there is a moral lesson to be learned, just feels too risky for the akhirah. Even if its meant for children, it feels risky.
I don't even know why i have these ambitions. I wish i could get rid of them, but at the same time, it's something i have a passion for. Some people say if you have a desire in your heart, its from God, but with how hard this is to do within Islams boundaries, i feel puzzled to go forward with it. I just wish i, with 100% certainty, knew what to do. I don't want a hobby to affect my hereafter.
If anyone has similar stories, it would be helpful if you could share them. Thanks in advance.
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 | Malcolm X (may Allah have mercy on his soul) like many people who converted to Islam, was once very bad and becoming Muslim made them very good!! [link] [comments] |
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I honestly do not know how to explain this because it has been happening to me for years and I am starting to feel confused and even scared
I often have this strange feeling that I already know certain things before they happen I am not talking about dreams but thoughts that suddenly appear in my mind without any reason Sometimes they are so random that I ignore them and then they actually happen
It is not only about events Sometimes I meet someone for the first time and I immediately have a very strong feeling about their intentions or their character before I really know them I cannot explain why I feel that way and more often than not I end up finding out that my first feeling was right
Yesterday while I was praying a quiet thought crossed my mind that I was going to have an argument with my mother I immediately asked Allah to help me stay patient and handle whatever was coming The next day it happened exactly like that and I had to control myself
Something similar happened with a boy I used to be very close to Throughout our studies my grades were always higher than his Yet before the final results came out I told him that he would end up getting a better grade than me He did and everyone around us was surprised including me
Experiences like these have happened more than once and I genuinely do not know what to make of them Part of me wonders if it is simply intuition Part of me wonders if it is a blessing from Allah But another part of me is afraid of these thoughts because I know that only Allah has knowledge of the unseen
I am not claiming to know the unseen and I do not want to fall into any belief that goes against Islam I am only trying to understand what I have been experiencing
Has anyone else experienced something similar from an Islamic perspective How do you understand it and what do scholars say about things like this
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Salam. I am getting more into my deen these days, however my prayers have be on and off. I know Allah's mercy has no limits, and I also know that prayer is one of the first things asked when we pass away. I was wondering how can I move forward with this. I struggle to pray 5 times a day, and sometimes only pray 1-2 prayers or not at all.
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Hello everyone.
I’ll try to keep this as brief and concise as possible.
I’m a F(apparently we’re not allowed to mention our age😅) from France. I was born into a Muslim family, but from the age of 18, my faith in Allah completely fell apart. However, that’s not what I’m here to talk about today.
I’m posting here because you are my last hope.
From the age of 11 until I was 21, I was under the influence of someone with strong narcissistic and manipulative traits. She was my best friend.
During my school years—the years when I was supposed to grow and develop as a person—I was bullied by her. She also manipulated other girls into bullying me alongside her.
I was an extremely intelligent and hardworking student. My father had very high hopes for me, especially because most members of my family have been professionally successful.
I was also fairly pretty, although I didn’t really put much effort into my appearance.
The girl—let’s call her Alicia—grew up without a father. I believe she was either the result of an affair or of rape; I’m not entirely sure.
She was widely considered physically unattractive and only got good grades because her grandfather, who was a teacher, gave her private lessons.
I should also mention that I came from a rather poor family and was very introverted, whereas she came from a wealthy background and was extremely outgoing.
I’m not sure how to explain this in English, but we met in secondary school. The thing is, it wasn’t actually the secondary school she was supposed to attend. She didn’t get along with the people in her village, so her mother obtained special permission from the local education authority to enroll her in my school instead.
As soon as I met her, I noticed that she constantly had conflicts with other students.
She was incredibly deceitful, hypocritical, and manipulative for someone her age.
But, wanting to “save” her, I took her under my wing.
I quickly realized that I never should have.
As the weeks and months went by, she began bullying and humiliating me. She would throw tantrums whenever I got good grades, forbid me from dressing nicely or developing my own personality, and constantly emotionally blackmail me.
I don’t personally hate her anymore because, looking back, I realize she was deeply mentally unwell. Even though she eventually pursued the very career I had dreamed of—after frequently asking me questions about it—I now realize I wouldn’t want her life at all. I genuinely think she must be suffering internally.
However, the girls who followed her are the ones I deeply resent. Alicia never bullied me alone.
I still remember the mockery, the humiliation, coming home in tears every day while hiding everything from my parents.
Unlike Alicia, those girls weren’t particularly bright. They had mediocre grades and weren’t interested in school. Today, they have jobs, money, nice cars, and stable lives.
Meanwhile, I have none of that.
A year ago, I experienced the worst waswas I’ve ever had. I completely lost control and insulted one of my former bullies on social media.
She replied by calling me a “homeless loser,” saying I had ruined my life, that my father must be ashamed of me, and claiming she didn’t even remember what had happened back then. She even showed me her payslip to prove how much money she earns, told me she was rich while I wasn’t, and bragged about constantly traveling around the world. Then she publicly mocked me on her story.
After that, several girls who had gone to school with us contacted me to ask what had happened. Some told me they clearly remembered how much control Alicia had over me and that what I had gone through had been completely unfair.
However, another girl told me she was shocked by what I had become. She said that back when we were in school, she genuinely believed I was going to become “very wealthy” because I was such a hardworking student.
She also told me that if Allah had blessed my former bullies more than He had blessed me, then perhaps it was because they deserved it more, and that maybe I should question myself.
Those words completely shattered me.
I still see them in my head:
“You’re a pathetic loser.”
“Your father must be so proud of you.”
“If Allah has given them more than He’s given you, maybe it’s because they’re more deserving.”
Today, I have no job, no degree, and I suffer from depression.
There isn’t a single day that goes by without me thinking about what they did to me.
These thoughts are so overwhelming that they stop me from moving forward. Every time I start a new job or training program, I genuinely convince myself that it’s already too late, that I’ve already ruined my life, and that I’m doomed to live in poverty until the day I die.
So I quit.
I feel like I’ve been the victim of a terrible injustice.
Despite everything I endured at school, I believed I could still succeed. I believed Allah would eventually grant me justice through my education and career. I imagined making my parents proud, buying a house, owning a nice car, and one day having those girls see everything I had achieved while remembering exactly how they had treated me.
But instead, it’s as if Allah proved them right.
It’s as if He said, “You bullied her, and now here’s your reward.”
It feels deeply unfair.
I was kind and gentle, and I still am.
They were cruel to everyone around them.
Yet they seem to be the ones Allah has chosen to reward.
I have gained absolutely nothing from what happened to me.
So my question is this:
How can I finally move on? How can I let go of everything they did to me so that I can finally live my life?
I can’t take it anymore, and I struggle with thoughts of revenge.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and thank you in advance for any advice.
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Hello friends!
I went with the friend of mine on Friday and it was one of the best experiences I've had. The mosque was a smaller one so I got the opportunity to meet a lot of people and even spoke with the Imam for quite a while. We had a 15-20 minute discussion regarding Islam, the history of the religion and my own personal opinions. Even though I am agnostic they were very respectful and not defensive when I brought my own opinions into things. Even though I still hold true to my beliefs it was genuinely a beautiful experience to meet a group of people who I would have never met previously. Thank you to everyone who gave me comfort and insight on everything and a special thank you to those who dmed me after my post. I'll definitely be back!
(Off topic but my friend is getting married soon in Qatar, his home country, and he invited me. If I find the way to pay for the visit I'll definitely be going!)
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So I myself am not Muslim. But I’m meeting with a friend this week who is Muslim and I wanted to bake something for her. Are there any good halal recipes I should make for her? I was definitely thinking of brownies or cookies. From my understanding, vanilla extract can be considered haram so would there be a substitute for it?
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 | 🤍 ﴿إِنَّ هَٰذَا الْقُرْآنَ يَهْدِي لِلَّتِي هِيَ أَقْوَمُ﴾ 🤍 "Indeed, this Quran guides to what is most upright." [link] [comments] |
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Alsalam alaauikum,
I have been struggling with very extreme and severe waswasa lately (regarding passing wind and najasa). Its completely taken over my life. Before,after and during salah i get so much anxiety to the point that i cant even stop moving.The feeling wont stop unless i repeat the salah.
Any advice would be appreciated,thank you.
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 | Came across these in a book I picked up recently, and thought I'd share! [link] [comments] |
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Hello
If I am not convinced in Islam it is just a reason for me I don't hate god I respect god it is not that I put the middle finger to the sky just not convinced but I still practice Islam Pray Quran for the case if it is real to meet family friends in heaven
Will I go to heaven ?
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 | I was sitting at work thinking about something I’ve been curious about for a while: how many generations back were our ancestors living during the time of Islamic prophets? Growing up, when we hear about prophets, it sometimes feels like they lived unimaginably far back in history. But when looking at family generations and historical timelines, the distance can feel surprisingly smaller than expected. Summary (based on a rough calculation, not a fully verified timeline):
I have not personally verified every single date or generation estimate, so I’m not claiming this as exact. I just found the overall timeline interesting and thought it was something worth sharing. The image was AI-generated to visualize the idea. Would be happy to hear others’ thoughts or corrections. [link] [comments] |
![[link]](https://i.redd.it/281w1g6ttmdh1.jpeg){kind=link}
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Assalam alaykom
I'm looking for resources to understand deeply how we are supposed to socialize according to islam and what isn't allowed . My main goal is to understand clearly what are غيبة،نميمة،بهتان and avoid falling in them .
I currently overthink nearly all of my social interactions. Whenever another person is mentioned, I become anxious about speaking, and even hearing someone criticize or speak negatively about others makes me worry that I might be participating in gossip or other sinful behavior.
Any advice or recommendation is welcome , thanks in advance
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I have been experiencing hallucinations and have homicidal and suicidal thoughts. I was also depressed in late 2023 and tried to commit suicide. I was an atheist for 2 years but came back to islam. When i opened up to my family about my hallucinations and homicidal thoughts they just say “Pray to Allah and think about good things” while i can’t. I have unwanted thoughts about this and i want help but they refuse. I know Islam encourages therapy so why are they so against it? I also don’t get it since i showed them that and they said “Just pray and it will go away”. It seems like they only listen to the Quran when its beneficial to their own beliefs. What can i do? Any advice is appreciated (My first language isn’t english, sorry)
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I am going through a very rough phase in my marriage.
I filed for khula in my first marriage cuz my husband had an extra marital affair.
I put all my trust in Allah, prayed istikhara and Tahajud. Astaghfar zikr everyday for months. After 2 years, i got married again.
After sometime I found out some habits of my husband and some other things that made me question everything.
Why would Allah make me go through this? Doesnt he say Relief after Hardship?
How come this is more painful?
I started to lose hope.
But on 9th Zil Hajj, I prayed my heart out. And i felt better, like everything will be okay.
I just wanted to hear from someone who have had a rough patch in their life where they saw nothing working out but had immense Tawakul that changed everything.
I just need hope again.
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السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
I don’t know where to start. From the perspective of those around me, I am a very religious girl; I pray on time, memorize the Quran, pray Tahajjud, and wear modest clothes.
But currently, my internal reality feels completely different. On the outside, I appear religious, but on the inside, I feel disconnected from it all. I used to watch religious lectures and feel so deeply touched that I would cry. I used to make Dua from the depth of my heart, completely faithful that they would be answered, believing that even if they weren't, I was still earning good deeds.
I repented for many things I used to do. I adopted modest clothing, stopped wearing makeup, quit listening to music, and recently, I made the hardest decision of all: I stopped drawing animate beings. This was my major; I used to study it, teach it, and was preparing to make it my main career. However, my conscience would guilt me every time I drew a human. After deep research, I realized it was Haram, so I decided in my heart to quit, keeping it to myself because I lack the courage to tell my family. They have supported me financially for years, paying for my college, courses, and the equipment I needed for my work.
After abandoning almost everything I used to enjoy for the sake of Allah, I began to feel hollow—though I know this emptiness is a whisper from Shaytan. I know Allah will compensate me with something better, but sometimes I feel utterly exhausted. I literally have nothing to occupy my life: no job, no friends, and no relationships.
Every day is a silent war between me and my desires. Thoughts constantly whisper: "Why am I restricting my life this way?" when everyone around me is having fun while I am struggling.
To make matters worse, during normal arguments with my parents, they accuse me of being a hypocrite. They tell me that praying on time and attending Quran classes are useless since I'm not a "good daughter." This makes me doubt myself even more. I ask myself: "Should I just give up? Since I don't feel a strong spiritual connection anyway, what is the point of all this?"
Not long ago, I was a few steps away from wearing the Niqab; now, the thought of taking off my Hijab altogether constantly hovers over me.
I wanted to write down all my feelings. I sincerely need advice, and please please mention me in your dua
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"Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah Almighty, except that Allah will replace it with something better for you." (Musnad Aḥmad 23074)
Just wanted to spark a discussion- did anyone find when they left something for the sake of Allah SWT they noted some sort of betterness? Ashamed to admit but losing a bit of faith, having left something for the sake of Allah SWT but can't see any changes yet, maybe I need to be more patient.
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Hello brothers and sisters,
Does allah give rewards to people that sacrifice their life to save other lives?
If one were to for example rescue children from a burning place, collapses and dies due to the lack of oxygen after getting out every child, would and how would allah reward them?
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Like, if I shower in the morning, then do I still have to wash my hands, feet & face for the Zuhr one even though I did that earlier in the day?
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I came across this thoughtful article on orphan sponsorship and wanted to share it with anyone who has ever wondered what sponsoring an orphan actually involves. Caring for orphans holds a special place in Islam, and learning about the practical ways sponsorship can help a child is well worth the read. Whether you're considering sponsoring an orphan or simply want to better understand this important act of sadaqah, I found it to be a helpful resource.
Learn more here: What Does Orphan Sponsorship Cover? A Guide for Donors
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Having a trouble with job search. Please make dua for me, I'm really desperate.
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What happens to couple who are not sexually compatible after marriage? Do they end up divorcing? What if someone goes through multiple divorces because of this incompatibility?
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Please take the time to read, its long but I feel desperate, alone and very overwhelmed and don’t know what to do. Not trying to be overbearing/possessive/irrational but also don’t want to be potentially neglectful?
Assalamu alaikum, im in my early 20s and my younger brother is 1+ yr younger and has been involved w a nonmuslim girl for a few years now. I remember feeling their relationship seemed awfully intimate (long, very frequent phone calls etc.) but did not push any further, bc at the time I was held back by the thought that if my parents havent said anything (even though I KNOW they were also noticing and curious), what grants me the authority to barge in? In hindsight I wonder if this situation could’ve potentially been avoided had i confronted him earlier, but that’s prob a selfish attempt to check off the “I did my part” box.
I constantly swing between feeling my brother is his own person + grown/independent enough to alhamdulilah now be self-supporting/make his own decisions and worry. And I think the latter has a lot to do w my mom who has become very stressed when it concerns him and has no one to confide in but me, which then causes me anxiety. What makes matters worse for my mom in particular, is that she gets stressed very easily and has told me she cannot seek comfort in my dad on this matter (through any conversation etc.), bc he shuts down entirely when this topic comes up-- so she’s left stewing alone. Furthermore, my father has not once independently approached and addressed this with my brother directly even though both parents treat this as a point of major concern. so she consequently feels as if she is (solely) burdened with the “obligation” to “sort this out” with him since the other parent has said little to nothing despite indirectly making his disapproval clear. And my dad is undisputably more stern and no-nonsense, so it makes me even more confused as to why he hasn’t even attempted once. Fyi at this point my mom has sought out and sat down w my brother for a convo regarding this relationship ~2x, advising him against it.
Ultimately, I know its his decision and make dua for him always. I had a “talk” with him regarding this for the first (and last time) >1 year ago (before either of my parents) bc I didn’t know where he stood w the girl at the time and was curious/a bit concerned and knew it was something that was bothering him to keep hidden despite it being a pretty open secret among all of us. And I truly feel if I hadn’t asked, neither would my parents despite their strong feelings. But by that point it was apparent by context clues and what my brother had shared that he and this girl had already built a solid albeit rocky foundation spanning the course of 3+ years (undergrad). And now, its been a few years since even that (~5+).
I havent mentioned it much less advised him about this again following that, but I know they are still together. I think it became too much for him to bear, bc he recently came out and explicitly told my parents he is still with her and cant not be w her (they’ve/hes apparently tried breaking contact before).
Idk what it is im asking, I don’t have anyone irl to consult and I guess being back home for the summer w little else to think about/do and seeing my mom (and dad) worry about him makes me wonder if theres something I should do, still. Being in the same space w him again, I constantly feel like im missing an “opportunity” to have this chat with him once more or broach the topic again. And even though I don’t think there is any action I can take atp, I don’t know if that’s me absolving a responsibility I still have.
I also dont like the idea of approaching my brother again bc I love him and care for him and I feel like he is already struggling with this despite his own feelings and harbors some level of guilt and perhaps shame, but at the same time it hurts to see my parents (esp my mom) in this “predicament”. But then im also rlly frustrated with my dad bc for some reason, and I think its out of fear of approaching my brother and generally pushing him away (they both butt heads a lot and my brother is the least likely of the siblings to back down), he acts like nothings happening. And that leaves me having to console my mom and sometimes doubting my own role in all this.
As a sort of aside, I also cant figure out how to behave w my brother, either. Things are def a bit stunted and conversations to me almost seem like were moving around the elephant in the room. It makes me sad and I wonder if I should just start talking to him/asking him about her. But then I worry that ill be affirming their relationship/indirectly showing approval/normalizing what they have going on. And this is where things get a little more iffy on my part bc a lot of this sadness is also related to seeing how often he texts her/calls her and comparing it to how sparingly he reaches out to me and my parents. He never contacts me on his own and I never know what he has going on bc even if we do talk otp I feel like its heavily one sided w most of the sharing being done from my end. And ive told him as much jokingly multiple times in the past. I want to be close to him but cant figure out whether we were always this far apart and im just feeling this way bc of some sisterly possessiveness occurring now that im aware he has someone special or if this is in fact a real thing outside of his relationship. Ive tried being introspective to figure it out but worry if I bring it up with him, he’ll understandably assume im nitpicking him out of desire to gain some control over his personal life (romantic endeavors included), especially since my parents and I have both made our disapproval of that clear.
Any advice or general thoughts or even a reality check would be genuinely and sincerely appreciated, seriously. Jazakallah khair
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