Assalamualikum everyone. I hope you’re all doing well.
i was a practicing and strong muslim but recently i’ve been feeling really abandoned and lost spiritually.
my father passed away around half a year back unexpectedly. while he was in the ICU we prayed for weeks but our duas wasn’t answered. right after he died i had such strong iman (not sure if it was some weird way of my brain protecting me from grief) and i was SO sure id see him and reunite with him in Jannah. but now im just so unsure. i feel terrible. i’m starting to get awful thoughts too like “why didn’t Allah answer my dua?” and so much more.
now i just feel like if think enough that i will for sure reunite with him in Jannah, ill actually believe it (fake it till you make it kinda situation). i do not understand why im lacking in iman so much now. its truly awful. i feel abandoned and lost. i’m not sure how else i can explain my situation but it’s genuinely really bad and ive been feeling like this for months. i genuinely feel like im faking my belief most of the time. how do i get better? how can i deal with this???
i apologize if some part of my posts seems offensive, it truly wasn’t my intention. i would genuinely appreciate any advices.
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