Since last year my life seems unbearable and pointless. Though I'm blessed in numerous ways. I have my parents, I have a good paying job, I have a roof over my head and I get to eat food everyday. Still I feel really empty inside.
I drifted away from Allah after my relationship ended because it was the best thing that ever happened in my life after a really long time. I am still not being able to let go of the fact that that person left me. I kept asking Allah why did he bring this person into my life if his ultimate intention was to take him away. I lost myself after that.
After the breakup I got a really high paying job and I accepted it. At that time I stopped believing overall so I accepted a job at a bank which I now know is haram. It's been having a toll on my mental health as well as the job pays almost three times a normal entry level job. I planned on leaving the job in September but I became an Assistant Manager for which I decided to stick around till December them quit for the experience as an Assistant Manager in my CV. This decision itself is making me suffer as well because I don't even want to stay here but this world that we live in doesn't allow us to do things because we felt like it. I have to make sure I'm keeping backup for next time I'm applying to jobs and the experience seems credible enough. So i decided to make myself suffer extra 4 months.
I have been praying to Allah everyday to help me but after my relationship ended and I entered the job, life seems quite meaningless. I have just been passing days with nothing forward to look to. I don't even feel like working anymore. I want to just stay at home and cry to myself because idek what I'm feeling and why I'm feeling this way.
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from Islam https://ift.tt/tYQoyI4
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