My aunt is a unique character. On one side, she is caring as she always asks me if I have eaten, despite it get annoying at times and making sure I'm entertained. She also gifts me clothes, despite me telling her no thanks and takes photos of me without permission (she does this to her kids too, ages 22-40).
She offered to help me settle into my new place as I am away from home and paid my first month rent on my apartment and internet down payment (I have since returned that money).
On another side, she is very religious yet authoritarian. She dislikes Muslims that aren't from our country of origin and goes as far as to refusing to associate with those people. She is also very judgmental, especially over skin color/Muslim skin color. I got hired at a job where my boss is a very nice and caring Hindu that really wants me to succeed, to which my aunt remarked, "Hindus are massive fraudsters, so be careful." I didn't entertain this idiocy, as my supervisor has a PhD (for starters). Also, there is somewhat of turmoil in the relationship with one of her sons, because she pestered him and his wife for years to have kids and even told him to divorce his current wife (who is really sweet by the way) to one what will bear him children. My cousin is very happy with his wife and it is a join decision of theirs not to have kids. My aunt refuses to believe in the autonomy of others.
One regret I have is ditching prayer. I was watching a movie to which she tells me to get up and do wudhu to pray in congregation with other people attending this party. I made an excuse that I had to speak to someone and ditched the prayer. My reason for ditching is because she spoke to me like a strict parent speaking to a child, which I found quite agitating. My only regret is not performing prayer, but no regrets in disobeying her. I do the opposite of what she tells me, because I refuse to let her put a foot on this path I walk towards Allah.
She is also a conspiracy theorist. Covid-19, she thinks is a ploy to stop Muslims from attending umrah/hajj, to which her daughter, sitting beside us told her to stop with her nonsense. She also thinks that Turkey bacon, Turkey/beef pepperoni, Turkey ham is haraam, no matter the circumstance, even in Mecca. It's serious to her where she stopped speaking to her sons because they ordered a pepperoni pizza once. Her logic is that the name "ham" or "bacon" is indicative of pork, so there must be some in it, when I told her this is the style of meat.
How does one approach something like this? I've had temptations to burst/let out my anger at her over her toxicity, but then again, she really cares for me in an annoying way. She is also my father's eldest sister.
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