Dear fellow Muslims,
I want to share my story in this whole month of Ramadan and hopefully help those that are in the same situation I was just few months back.
I got married to a Muslim man 10 years ago, whom I met through University. I fell in love with him and we had a 4-month relationship. We got married. We had 2 beautiful children. This sounds like a fairytale but is far from the truth.
My husband was an emotional and physical abuser. Every time he reminded me that I was not allowed to speak to others about the abuse, as he would tell everyone I am not a good girl (for having a relationship with him before marriage). I was young and kept all the abuse hidden. I covered my bruises and my emotional suicidal thoughts. I misunderstood Allah path for me and I was stupid for going away from Allah because of the pain I suffered instead of leaning more on his mercy.
There was something invisible withholding me from within to pray. I always thought "Why me? What did I do? " But I had to believe in Allah. I am not sure if this is my path because I intervened with His plans for my marriage by having this relationship. Only Allah knows.
After 10 years I finally found the strength to tell my parents and they took me back in with open arms. I am thankful for them and can't express how thankful I am to Allah for such parents. There are many parents that unfortunately can't or are not willing due to shame to take back their daughter with two children. It is now that I realise how much Allah has blessed me with. I have never spend a day without food alhamdullah, never a day without a roof, never a day in the hospital for being sick or having sick children. After telling my parents, I have never had to endure one more swear or physical pain from my ex by being in their house sound and safe.
I am very thankful that Allah has blessed me with my children. I am hoping Allah will forgive me for not praying and not believing in His destiny for me. I was wrong and I hope that from now on I can be the closest to Allah than ever before. I will try to pray everyday to Allah and make clear that I regret my past and look forward to a clean future. I am thankful that Allah has not tested me with the health or death of my children but with an abusive husband. Inshallah, Ya Rab, He will never test me with my children and I am praying to Him that he will forgive me for not passing his test during the abuse but I am looking forward to teach my children about the beauty of Islam and improve my own understanding of Islam as well.
I am still in the divorce period and I don't know what my exhusband will do regarding shaming me and exposing my relationship with him prior to marriage. I don't know if he will abuse me in giving my children to him. I am so unsure about the future but I trust everything in Allah and I ask you kind Muslims to keep me in your prayers.
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from Islam https://ift.tt/2KIfXc7
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