I'm frustrated that we're not getting proposals.i had hope in Allah, keeping zikr, did Umrah this year but nothing seems to work. Losing all hope now. Tried all kinds of wazifas but nothing seems to work in our favor
1) How do you empty your bladder all the way? It seems impossible. Despite sitting I still have small amounts of dribble come out. I have tried waiting longer but this doesn’t help and it can take up to 30 mins for it to stop. I am struggling to understand how one is to fully avoid urine. This is causing a lot of hardship and stress for prayer.
2) I have tried tissue but the urine droplet(s) will get through so my clothes become impure. I have tried pads but big ones are too noticeable and difficult to bring multiple of when traveling so I can run out. Whereas the small ones can move or your private can move spreading the impurity.
I hate having to wet my clothes and it’s difficult to avoid it spreading since wet impurity can spread so easily with contact. Does anyone have any advice or fatwas on the subject? They say in Hanafi that some impurity is overlooked but from my understanding it is speaking about impurities too difficult to see (the size of a tip of a needle or the eye of a locust)
Also if you are just going to comment this is waswas know that I have concrete proof something comes out.
I am a Catholic catechumen (awaiting baptism), but I am interested in Islamic traditions, the Quran and the Muslim faith. With that said, I know that you respect the Torah and the gospels, but I don't know about your views on the books of the prophets, so I want to know how you treat and view these writings, and even if you study them.
I hope I didn't ask silly and obvious questions.
I used to be someone who used to love being around people and show mercy to my family and everyone around me. After a medical scare and meds it was almost overnight when I discovered that I lost it all. The warmth of His Love and His Mercy all gone overnight.
How is that possible? From being grateful to ungrateful. From loving children and babysitting them 24/7 to not wanting to be around them.
I feel so disconnected and discontent with how I lost it all overnight.
I feel stuck.
FYI I tried therapy and hijama and did umrah. But I still feel like my heart has been cut off from any Mercy and Love and it has impacted every aspect of my life. I will continue to seek forgiveness.
But I would like to know if anyone practicing has gone through this and overcome it? Call it what you want but I truly feel the love and mercy is how it feels like.
So both of my parents are both very toxic, and I would say that I have grown up in a very toxic household,without any love,nobody has ever said to me I’m proud of you , I love you etc. and that is okey by me because it made me stronger but on the other hand more not knowing of my soft side. I have always been beaten by various objects in the household and their like was that a stick came from Jannet. It was always a crazy household,they are both very controlling,antisocial,like that old Bosnian parents that u would imagine. They have so many loans,dad always struggled with jobs and they make good money but most of it goes to loans(which are haram),but they always say that they didn’t have a choice,in my head it means that they didn’t trust Allah enough but ok. The problem is that they come home from work and waiting to die,basically like that. They don’t have hobbies,don’t care about anything,don’t go anywhere. It’s like they are waiting to die estaqfirullah. They make me do hard things around the house,they have so much problems in their lives ,and everything is always my fault. I know that parents are always right,especially when it comes to parents in islam. And I never mean them no harm, but it’s just such a controlling,depressing environment that I’m just waiting to get out of. They see me do Dua and they say ,don’t act like that u just finished prayer etc in a bad tone. I honestly don’t know that to do to them anymore. I guess that they just have a victim mentality,that they didn’t pursue their goals and that’s why they put me down. So the question is : if I know that they are like this ,how should I behave in theirs space/with them etc.
So my father wants me to invest in a CD to avoid bank fees and protect my money from scams. The problem is that there will likely be interest involved.If I refuse, there's a good chance my father will catch on to the reason. And he really hates it when I abide by rulings of islam. Like not touching the opposite gender, refraining from listening to music....etc I don't know what he'll do if I say no. What can I do?
Assalamu Alaykum brothers and sisters,
Alhamdoulilah recently Allah has drawn me back to him through hardship and I am fortunate to have that happen to me.
I am past the honey moon phase and have changed my niyyah with the way I live and alhamdoulilah it has worked wonders no matter what trials I still go through but I feel like I'm falling short... I know for a fact that If It wasn't for his mercy neither me or you would even be worthy of jannah but he is the most merciful. I have a feeling of fear that no matter how much I refine my ibaadah, he might still not be content with me because of something I did.
By ibaadah I don't mean just praying and fasting, I mean also trying to live by the prophet's pbuh way and always fight my nafs on a daily basis to avoid anger and sins.
But I am fearful, I don't want just jannah, I want closeness to Allah, because he was there when no one else was and I want to be as close as I can be.
Is there a way to know if I'm in the right path or do I just keep refining my deen?
This is not out of fear, this is out of love.
Salam brothers and sisters.
Before I begin, I want to make one thing clear: I do not need assistance of any kind. I am managing. What I truly need is for someone to hear me, to acknowledge me, to simply say something encouraging. I feel so invisible sometimes, and a kind word is worth more to me than anything else.
For context, I am in Canada.
Four years ago my life was ordinary in the best possible way. I had a stable career, a home, a wife, a child, and a family that loved me. Everything a man in his early thirties could reasonably hope for. Yes, my marriage had its issues, but nothing unmanageable.
Then one day, while standing on a ladder to change a curtain, I fell and struck my head. A week later the migraines began... chronic migraines with aura.
The first doctor I saw brushed me off or simply lacked the competence to help. I was prescribed a harsh anti-inflammatory medication. It did nothing. Over-the-counter painkillers were useless, and the only thing that dulled the agony was alcohol. I did not want to go down that road, but the relief was the only relief I could find.
I eventually learned that migraines affect each person differently. Mine were not the worst in terms of pain, but the postdrome was devastating. After a migraine, my cognitive ability dropped by what felt like seventy percent. Concentration vanished. My ability to form coherent thoughts or make rational decisions collapsed. By the time I recovered, another migraine was already approaching... and the cycle repeated endlessly. Alcohol was the only thing that cut through the fog. At a certain level of intoxication, I remembered what it felt like to be myself.
My employer noticed. My attendance slipped, my performance suffered. They were kind enough to move me into an easier administrative position, but nothing improved. Eventually my contract was not renewed.
Money began running out. By then the world was deep in the pandemic.
I could not afford the mortgage on the house my wife and her mother had purchased for us... I had no savings to contribute to the down payment in the first place.
My marriage finally collapsed. As I said earlier, we had our problems even before the injury. Losing my ability to function, to work, and turning to alcohol was simply too much. I do not blame her.
I had no choice but to figure out how to survive. I moved thousands of kilometers away... from Ontario to Alberta. Through a friend I found a good job, and I pushed myself as hard as I could. But after four months, my attendance again became an issue and I was laid off.
By that time the Canadian job market had deteriorated to the point of despair. When I could not find work in Alberta, I moved to New Brunswick, where my father lived. Things calmed down for a while. I worked a minimum wage retail job... nothing glamorous, but my manager understood my condition. My migraines even eased for a bit, and I believed I was ready for full-time labor again. I joined an electrical company as a laborer.
I lasted three months.
That was when I finally accepted that I needed proper treatment. New Brunswick has poor healthcare access, so I saved every dollar, every cent, and returned to Ontario. There I found a neurologist who actually listened to me, took me seriously, and began trying different treatments.
This brings us to 2024. The neurologist kept cycling through medications but nothing worked. The job market was still frozen. I eventually became homeless.
I left southern Ontario for Ottawa. Soon after arriving, the neurologist finally found a medication that helped. Not perfectly, but enough that I could function again. Unfortunately, by then the damage to my life felt complete. I could think clearly again, but inside I felt hollow... as if I no longer knew how to rebuild.
During all the years I was sick, I fell behind on every financial obligation, including child support. In Canada, missing child support leads to wage garnishment, suspension of your driver’s license, and even having your passport cancelled.
Today I live out of a storage locker because I cannot afford rent. I am afraid to pursue full-time work in my field. It is a small industry, and there are only so many companies I can pass through before my name becomes synonymous with unreliability.
I pray often. I remind myself that Allah tests those He loves. I know, intellectually, that suffering often hides a purpose we cannot see. But emotionally... I feel invisible. I feel frightened. I never imagined that by nearly forty years old, this would be my life. If someone had told me in 2017 what was coming... I would have laughed in their face for speaking such a curse.
Yet here I stand.
I did not choose Islam. I was born into it. And for that I feel deeply blessed. But sometimes I wonder if reverts appreciate the beauty of faith more than those of us born into it.
I feel alone far too often. I fear that I have ruined my life beyond repair. At my lowest moments I even feel abandoned by Allah, though I know that feeling is only a trick of the mind.
What can I do to feel closer to Allah again?
Asc, Hello dear brothers and sisters.
Today I wanted just for everyone to take a pause and glory be to Allah! May Allah heal you all and fill you all with happiness and put us all in Jannah trough our lords mercy despite however many sins you and I have!
Amen
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My kids love this reciter but I can't find the reciter? [link] [comments] |
I am a person with anxiety disorder in the last stage of the disease's development. I understand that sins lead to hell, and good deeds to heaven, but I heard on the Internet that people with mental illnesses cannot receive either sin or thawab and that Allah will definitely bring such people to heaven (if they were born that way). But I was not born with this disease (the disease began when I was already an adult in Islam). Therefore, the question of where I will go after death is still open. Therefore, I want to know if I can receive thawab or sin to get to heaven.
i grew up in a religious family and in Saudia so aH ive always had proper islamic education influenced on me. however, i never knew the power of Tahajjud until only a couple years ago. i believed it and wanted to practice it but would only wake up for Fajr not Tahajjud. 2 years ago, I prayed my first tahajjud and got what i wanted THE DAY AFTER. i also prayed recently since i was goign through something and pretty much begged to Allah in Tahajjud to ease my pain and i dont even want anyone back in my life i just wanted my mind to be clear and my heart to be at ease. i swear the next morning i woke up with a completely different mindset. i was seriously so positive and suddenly it felt like everything will be ok. it doesnt necessarily have to happen overnight but it WILL happen. and its guaranteed for all of us and WILL help you get anything you want if you truly pray with your heart and stay consistent.
i genuinely believe tahajjud is the reason i am where i am. and i dont just pray it for when i need things, i have been trying to make it a habit to just pray consistently because if it can get me what i want so easily, i cant imagine what else i have in store for me.
please please please pray tahajjud and lock in, you are so close and it really is that easy. Allah is seriously the most merciful.
I am trying to improve my Deen by making small changes. Would love to know what’s your Small habit that takes you closer to Allah?
Hello everyone. I’ll try to make this post as short as possible without rambling too much.
I didn’t grow up very religious, in fact my parents were agnostic pagans (less emphasis on deities and more emphasis on traditions following the seasons). Although I did have Christian grandparents and attended Lutheran Sunday school for the first 9 years of my childhood. My parents have always been open to religious exploration but never declared or practiced a religion of their own. I’ve always been open and spiritual but never declared any specific faith of my own.
A few years ago out of curiosity I decided to learn more about Islam because surely it is not a faith weapons and violence my country (the U.S.) loves to portray Islam to be. I do not know Arabic so I’ve listened to an English audio translation of the Quran and played around with following along a translation while it’s been recited in Arabic. I have found much peace in all of my interactions with Islam and the Quran.
I am currently a college student and finishing up a world religion course where we were assigned to explore another faith and attend a prayer or service and I took this as the perfect opportunity to visit one of my local mosques.
The service was beautiful and although the Arabic was in parts hard to follow the warmth and glow in the room was very real. Being lovingly called “sister” in a room full of people I’ve never met will forever sit with me. I have never felt more welcome. My time at the mosque is the only time I’ve prayed as well.
I love Islam, the faith, the people, and the practice. I don’t know that I could convert though. I worry that I have far too many vices, interests, and behaviors that go against the piousness required and if I were to convert Id want to do it right and respectfully but I don’t want to completely reconfigure everything I am and everything I love. Islam is a very big commitment. A beautiful commitment, but I’m just really not sure it’s something I could do.
I also find the language barrier to be extremely overwhelming to overcome to pray and follow along fully during service.
I know this sounds stupid, but I'm serious. I don't play anything but I just use the airpods for noise cancelation as the area I'm in is usually loud and it's hard to control how loud it gets, all I do is put the airpods in my ears and turn on noise cancelation. That's it. Thank you to all who help me
Or purify oneself in a particular place. I used to consume harmful substance (not alcohol or drugs) in my room, but now I don't feel comfortable in the room because of that, even the stuffs are washed and no smell is here anymore. Still I was messy at that time and still feel kind of it is still here even when the room is objectively tidy and clean.
Is there a way to purify a room spiritualy ?
We need to restore the greatness of the Ummah. We need to unite no matter what. We can have theological differences and disagrees on certain point (Athari vs Ashari vs Maturidis vs Mutazilites...) but we just need to UNITE and restore the Khilafat. I swear by Allah that if we do that we will become great again.
Much love to everyone here, may Allah bless the muslims and restore our greatness !
Thank you
Hello,
I'm a teacher and today I was showing my young Grade 1/2 class old videos of my previous 2 classes performing at the winter concert to give them an idea of it looks as they'll be doing it in a couple weeks.
I have a male EA in my classroom to help me with 2 autistic students.
I forgot that one of the videos was filmed before I became a hijabi, and you can see me standing at the side of the stage. I'm behind the curtains, but my face peeks out a bit at times.
When I noticed it, I quickly went to cover my face with my hand, but it's a projector, so you can kind of still see me?
The video itself was filmed by a parent sitting at the audience so it's not like a close-up of me and again I'm mostly at the side, behind a curtain, other than the few times you can peek me.
Anyways, I'm currently on my last day of fasting to make up the fasts from last Ramadan and now I feel like my fast is invalid. Is that true? I feel like I should have just removed the video altogether and made an excuse to the class. I have OCD so I tend to overthink so please let me know, is my fast still valid?
Thank you.
Situation: I buy a peice of land, with an intention to bury just the members of my family and keep it a private burial. Also there are public buruals in the town, with adequate space to bury and available easily. Burials are nearby and easily accessible. Somone in my neighborhood dies and his family members ask me if they can bury the dead here.
What if I don't have intentions to allow as I bought it for my family? What should be my reply? What if I refuse? Will I be questioned if I refuse?
Hii ive been fasting the ramadan since I was 12, but the first 4 years I didn't pray most days, I only started praying all my prayers last year. And I haven't fasted all my period days. In fact I think I still have some days from my first period. I thought it was OK at first but I came a cross a tiktok that said if I didnt fast my period days before ramadan, then the whole month isn't valid. Does that mean none of my ramadans were valid? What do i do? My max is 25 days (that I have to fast) am I supposed to fast them then feed the poor? Please help and dont judge im too embarrassed to ask anyone in my surroundings🥀
Im afraid from the influence of the western culture on our muslim societies , especially the youth, fitnah is everywhere , infront of me school most of them (not all ofc) are dating , talking abt dating , alot doesn't have an understanding of the basics of islam , idk y but im afraid of the future of the Umah , and im afraid to be influenced by them , too . Ofc there is alot of righthous people , im just afraid of slipping away off the right path ,and i dont want to , can I really stick to the end..
Any advice for someone would help . Thx !
Narrator: Asma bint Abi Bakr (may Allah be pleased with her)
Authenticated Translation:
I came to Aisha, the wife of the Prophet (ﷺ), when the sun eclipsed. The people were standing in prayer, and she too was standing and praying. I asked, "What is the matter with the people?" She pointed with her hand towards the sky and said, "Subhan Allah (Glory be to Allah)!" I said, "Is it a sign?" She nodded, meaning yes. So I stood (in prayer) until I was nearly overcome by fainting, and I began pouring water over my head. When the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) finished, he praised Allah and extolled Him, then said: "There is nothing that I had not seen before except that I have seen it in this place of mine—even Paradise and Hellfire. And it has been revealed to me that you will be tried in your graves with a trial like—or close to—the trial of the Dajjal." (Asma said: "I do not know which of these she said.") "Each of you will be approached and asked: 'What is your knowledge of this man?' As for the believer—or the one who has certainty (Asma said: 'I do not know which of these she said')—he will say: 'He is Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah. He came to us with clear proofs and guidance, so we answered, believed, and followed.' It will be said to him: 'Sleep in peace, for we have known that you were indeed a believer.' As for the hypocrite—or the doubter (Asma said: 'I do not know which of these she said')—he will say: 'I do not know. I heard the people saying something, so I said it.'"
The trial of the grave is among the greatest trials a person will face. The Prophet (ﷺ) would consistently seek refuge in Allah from it at the end of his prayers.
In this hadith, Asma bint Abi Bakr relates that she went to her sister Aisha, the Mother of the Believers, at her home and found her praying along with the Prophet's prayer in his mosque—for the homes of the Mothers of the Believers were adjacent to the Prophet's Mosque, as is well known.
Asma asked her sister, while she was praying, about why the people were fearful and had entered into prayer at this unusual time, which was not a time for obligatory prayer. Aisha answered while still in prayer by gesturing with her hand toward the sky, indicating that the solar eclipse was the reason for this fear and prayer.
Asma understood that this was a sign and portent of Allah's power, so she joined them in prayer. She prayed such a lengthy prayer that she became exhausted and showed signs of fatigue, to the point that she poured water over her head to stay conscious and prevent fainting. This was because the eclipse prayer consists of two units (rak'ahs), each containing two bowings (ruku') and two recitations. The imam prolongs the recitation and bowing, with the bowing being as long as the recitation. This length may tire some worshippers, but it is done as an act of humility and supplication to Allah, that He might relieve the people of their distress.
When the Prophet (ﷺ) finished the prayer, he addressed the people, beginning with praise and glorification of Allah as He deserves. He then informed them that everything he had not previously seen, he had now seen in that very place—even Paradise and Hellfire were made visible and manifest before him.
He explained that Allah had revealed to him the trial of the grave, which includes the questioning by the two angels, and that it would be severe, resembling in intensity the trial of the Dajjal (the False Messiah). The trial of the Dajjal is among the greatest and most dangerous of trials. The word "Dajjal" derives from "dajl," meaning to cover or conceal, because he covers the truth with his falsehood. He is a human being from the children of Adam, and his emergence is among the major signs of the Day of Judgment. Allah will test His servants through him and will grant him power over certain matters by Allah's permission: reviving one whom he kills, displaying worldly abundance and prosperity with him, his paradise and fire and two rivers, the earth's treasures following him, commanding the sky to rain and it rains, and the earth to produce and it produces—all occurring by Allah's power and will.
The trial the Prophet (ﷺ) warned about is that a person will be asked in their grave: "What is your knowledge of this man? What do you know about him?"—referring to the Prophet (ﷺ). The believer or the one with certainty will answer: "He is Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah. He came to us with clear proofs and guidance, so we answered and followed." He says this three times, for Allah establishes him with firm words and inspires him with the answer. The angels then confirm his truthfulness and give him glad tidings of rest and freedom from misery, saying to him: "Sleep in peace; we have known that you were indeed a believer."
As for the hypocrite or the doubter, he will say: "I do not know, and I have no certain knowledge. I only heard the people in the worldly life saying something, so I said it. I was not certain of his prophethood; I merely outwardly agreed with what the people said." Such a person will be in a state of misery and torment, in contrast to the believer.
Affirmation of the questioning in the grave for believers, hypocrites, and disbelievers alike.
Paradise and Hellfire are already created and exist now.
Confirmation of the emergence of the Dajjal and his great trial.
Complete faith and complete knowledge consist of knowing Allah and His Messenger, and knowing the evidence for that.
The permissibility of women attending the eclipse prayer in congregation at the mosques.
The permissibility for one praying to listen to what someone not in prayer tells them.
The permissibility of the praying person to gesture with their hand or head to one who asks them repeatedly.
The legislation of prayer and supplication to Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, when solar or lunar eclipses occur.
Source: al-Mawsu'ah al-Hadithiyyah - al-Durar al-Saniyyah
As Salam Alaikum. Venting here because I have no one to talk with. ometimes I look around and wonder if there is any corner of this world that truly cares about patients anymore… any place where human suffering actually matters. Watching my mother in pain breaks something inside me every single day. And living in Bahrain as a South Asian family, it feels like we are invisible, like our lives only matter when money is on the table. Every door asks for payment, every solution depends on insurance we don’t even have and it's Haram. It feels like compassion has a price tag, and we simply can’t afford it.
I see my mother hurting, and I feel utterly powerless. I try to be strong for her, but my own body is tired, my mind is shaking under the weight of anxiety, and sometimes I don’t even feel like I’m standing anymore. I keep thinking, what kind of daughter am I if I can’t protect her? She deserves comfort, she deserves peace, and instead she gets procedures, bills, delays, and discomfort, and I just sit there, watching, praying, wishing I could do more.
It hurts to realize how the world bows to money. If you’re rich, hospitals open their arms wide for you. You can buy comfort, buy kindness, buy the treatment you need. But if you’re poor or foreign, suddenly your pain doesn’t matter. You stand in line. You beg. You wait. You break inside while they count the notes in your hand.
Wallahi, sometimes my heart feels like it’s being squeezed. I ask Allah to witness everything, the neglect, the injustice, the coldness. And I pray that every healthcare worker who ignores a patient’s suffering, who prioritizes money over mercy, will be held accountable by the One who sees everything.
I ask Allah to grant me halal wealth, not for luxury, not for dunya, but so I can take care of my parents the way they deserve, and so I can help the ones who are forgotten, the ones who suffer silently the way my mother is suffering now. Right now that dream feels far, like a distant light I can barely touch, but I still hold on to it with whatever strength I have left.
This world is short. These trials feel endless, but they are temporary. Jannah is our true home, yet sometimes my soul feels so exhausted, so heavy, like it just can’t carry any more pain. But I keep praying, because that’s the only thing holding me together.
If you’ve ever studied Arabic, you probably know that moment, when you read a verse and suddenly realize you understand it without needing the translation.
It hits different. You don’t just read it, you feel it. We’ve seen students get emotional over one short ayah, simply because it was the first time the words connected directly to their heart.
That’s really what learning Arabic is about,not just grammar or memorization, but actually building that personal connection with the Qur’an.
Have you ever had a verse hit you that way? Which one was it for you?
Assalamu aleykum brothers and sisters, Right now I found out that the lineage of ishmael (as) and Ibrahim (as) are blessed in the Bible. And it's meant religiously by someone I talked to. So if their lineage is blessed religiously, probably on the right path or as prophets, this includes Muhammad (saw) since he is a descendant of Ibrahim (as) and Ishmael (as). So he's either guided to the right path or instantly a prophet, since he revealed the Quran and teached Islam this means A) The Bible confirms Islam B) Christian's believe in a false religion(it's already known but this proves it stronger perhaps) Please tell your own opinions to it, I want to know if I'm wrong or right, jazakallah Khair for reading.
I want to act accordingly in life.
Can someone suggest me some hadiths or surahs that teach deen?
Thx
Since I was a child I always had to take care of myself because my parents were busy treating strangers better than their children.
I never felt warmth, comfort or got any attention from my parents - since Kindergarten. I came home, had to do my own lunch etc. and then disappeared in my room for their comfort.
20 years later my beautiful husband who treats me like a princess, I'm still depressed to see that his family is just like mine - cold & cruel. And I have to interact with them everyday since we my husband owns his own business and let's his parents work there.
It's unfair towards my husband. He's doing his best for my mental health while also struggling with a lot of things from his past - while running a business so we have a roof over our heads.
It's just...I don't know how to let go of the past and move forward. I can't find sleep, I cry every night. The whole situation is just so incredibly depressing.
Assalamu 3laykum wa rahmatallahu w barakatu.
Please brothers and sisters make a dua for me. I’m currently homeless and I’m sleeping/staying in an airport for access to chargers, a bathroom etc. I’m having a difficult time, the floor is cold and hard and people are super loud.
I would appreciate any and all duaa.
Jazak Allah Khaiyrun
Most beginners think fluency in Qur’an recitation will take years, but with consistent short sessions, many of our adult students reach confident reading in under 6 months.
A few things that help:
• Start with the Arabic alphabet and simple tajweed.
• Learn with a teacher who corrects gently, not perfectly.
• Recite out loud daily, even if it’s just one verse.
What helped you build consistency when you started reading the Qur’an?
I formally ask to upvote so everyone may benefit I do this to satisfy Allah: benefit myself as well as the Ummah.
Former Atheist; This is how I strengthened my Iman through Rational thinking rather than emotion. Emotional reasoning leads nowhere, It leads to doubt more then faith. Instead you should address these doubts directly. Below ill write a constructive way you can deal with the whispers of your mind and Shaytan. Ill merge my writings and the knowledge ive picked up.
As title says: Most think why do I feel like this why does my iman feel at its peak and then plummet at a low. Iman is supposed to fluctuate, it is your biggest test between yourself & Allah; If Allah were to make your iman constant you wouldve been among the angels. It is not your thoughts that are counted, it is your actions. Focus on Rational reasoning rather Emotional; If you deeply reason: youre a unicorn does it make you one? No, this is why Logical thinking is required rather than emotional.
Focus on Rational reasoning rather than emotional reasoning
There are many verses on seeking knowledge on your deen, And it is a obligation for Muslims, this doesnt mean you have to be a scholar. You shouldnt dismiss any questions that are ruining your Iman rather directly address it otherwise you would be following blindly. Dismiss your emotions & think rationally,
Here are just one of the verses 17:36: Do not follow that which you have no knowledge of, because surely the hearing, sight and heart will be questioned regarding that.
Dont be a hypocrite
Theres a reason why many Muslims are steadfast in their faith, its because of countless studying/asking questions & challenging the question, If you feel scared to even question because you think itll effect your iman. You are among the hypocrites. I was like this once & it completely ruined my iman leaving me to question more with no answer. Theres a hadith mentioning the hypocrite In the grave the angels will question regarding belief he will say, “I do not know I just heard the people say things which I then said too.” In response, the angels will rebuke him saying “You never read and never understood.". This also applies to the ones whom are Muslim due to their parents, And not out of sincerity nor conviction. This is why it is obligated for every individual to investigate the truth.
Dont be a hypocrite continued pt2
This applies mostly to the older gen but many still discourage reading the Torah, Bible, Claiming you will be astray rather stronger in Iman, I find its the opposite but there important caveats you must understand: 1. Read from a Non-Bias & standpoint because it captures sincerity in finding the truth 2. Previously what I said do not use emotional bias to justify; After seeing the corrupted past revelations it showed me how consistent the Quran was. If we never read the Torah or Bible, We wouldve never known Muhammad a.s was prophesied. But since this post is about Muslims with doubt & not other faiths or Atheists. I would advise to finish the Quran first
Blind Faith & Visions
If one has faith without proof this is blind faith, it is completely ignorant to use dreams or visions, One will tell me "Theres hadith of dreaming about the Prophet a.s" Indeed this is true, However this is only sufficient for one who already has cleared his doubts or is steadfast in faith & for the one who thinks emotionally, I have seen many Former Muslims convert to Christianity, All due to a dream or a vision about Isa a.s or the "Holy Ghost" enlightening them.
Worshipping God Acquires Mind & Heart
Now some individuals say Spirituality is all that should be needed in faith, Wrong. While yes it is required to have Spiritual health, It is ignorant on the individual not being aware of the God being worshipped, Spiritually should come along knowing, what is necessary for God, What is impossible & possible, With atleast essential knowledge of divine attributes. This is what repels doubt about God, If you dont even know about Allah, What is the point being spiritual? You must always seek about Allah, otherwise you wont be any different from the claimants of other faiths who believe they reached enlightenment. This also correlates with blind faith & Visions.
I thank you truly for the ones who read all of this, I have typed all by myself, No AI. Although I will use AI for the TDLR since I am bad at condensing sentences. It is much appreciated for the ones who read all through. I hope you all see how dedicated I am to helping the Ummah.
TL;DR (Too Long ; Didnt Read)
Rational Reasoning First
Focus on rational thinking, not emotions. Seek knowledge of your deen. It is obligatory, but you don’t have to be a scholar. Don’t ignore doubts; address them directly 17:36: “Do not follow that of which you have no knowledge.”
Avoid Hypocrisy
Faith requires investigation. Fear of questioning can make you a hypocrite. Blindly following without understanding is dangerous. Even Muslims raised in faith must seek sincerity and conviction.
Reading Other Scriptures
Read past revelations such as the Torah and Bible carefully and without bias. Knowledge of earlier scriptures shows the consistency of the Qur’an and confirms prophecies, but strengthen your Qur’an-based Iman first.
Blind Faith and Visions
Faith without proof is blind. Dreams and visions cannot replace knowledge. Spirituality must come after certainty in faith.
Worship Requires Mind and Heart
True worship combines knowledge and spirituality. Understand Allah, His attributes, and what is required of you. Blind faith or empty spirituality will not protect against doubt.
Hi everyone, im facing an issue ever since I joined my new job and idk how to go about it.
Basically I use the company provided bus to travel back and forth to the company as I don’t drive.
My dilemma starts here - the bus leaves at 5:20pm ish from the company in the evening. I don’t reach home till about 7:50 to about 8pm nearly.
Which means my magrib prayer gets cutoff in between.
My question is, how do I pray? Do I pray while sitting in the bus? The bus driver usually stops in between to pray magrib but he stops at a gas station where there’s only a men’s prayer room. The driver does whatever he wants and doesn’t listen to anyone’s demands.
Sometimes the men in the bus get off at the gas station and pray on the concrete. My issue is I’m a woman. I can’t pray with them or outside exposed like that. I feel shy even though I wear hijab and abaya.
I don’t have anywhere to pray, I usually am not in wudhu either so where would I make wudhu to pray??
Everyone I know is like just make Jamaa (joint prayer of magrib and isha) in my case but I’m not convinced. I fear I’m doing something wrong or disobeying Allah
Could someone please give me some advice on how to move forward with this. It’s ruining my life not to pray magrib and I feel sad when I miss the prayer.
I can’t leave this job either as I need the job.
Many jews view Halal food, especially in the US, as better to eat if Koser
Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu
I’m looking to connect with reverts in Switzerland.
I’m trying to build a small group for brothers so we can support each other, share knowledge, and stay connected.
If you are a revert in Switzerland, or if you know ways to find and reach out to reverts here, feel free to reply.
JazakAllahu khayran.
I’m really struggling with something and I don’t know if anyone has experienced something similar. I’ve been heartbroken over someone I cared for deeply. Shamed to say I didnt use to pray regularly but I did once for just general guidance. Everything was good but we were also getting into deep waters and it was only to get worse if we continued. Things ended abruptly, he pulled away, acted avoidant, lied about things, and eventually blocked me. Logically, everything says “move on,” and I know the relationship wasn’t healthy. It wasn’t long, but the emotional intensity was high.
Here’s where I’m confused:
Even after everything, I still feel something in my heart, not the urge to chase him, but this strange feeling that I’m supposed to pray for him. I’ve already made du’a for my heartbreak to be lifted, and subhanAllah, I genuinely feel like Allah answered that part. I don’t feel the same pain I used to.
But I’ve also been making another du’a every single day: “Ya Allah, if he is good for my deen, my future, and my akhira, then soften his heart and bring us closer together. And if he is not good for me, then replace him with something better.”
I say that because I want to trust Allah’s plan, not my own desires.
At the same time… something in my heart still tells me to pray for him specifically. To make du’a that Allah softens his heart. To hold hope. I don’t know if this is intuition, or if it’s just attachment disguised as spirituality.
I’ve prayed Istikhara twice already — not asking “Ya Allah, make him mine,” but asking: “Ya Allah, show me if this feeling is real guidance or just delusion. Give me clarity.”
And the thing is… I still feel the same. This tug in my chest. Like I’m meant to wait. But then my rational brain is like, “Girl, you’re being delusional. He hurt you. Why are you still holding on?”
I feel stuck between two voices: • The spiritual part of me that believes sometimes Allah separates two people so they can grow and come back better • And the grounded part of me that says I’m just trauma-bonded and giving heartbreak a religious meaning because it’s painful
Has anyone else ever felt this — like you’re pulled to keep praying for someone who isn’t even in your life anymore?
How do you differentiate between: • actual intuition • attachment • wishful thinking • and signs from Allah?
Does Istikhara sometimes give you “stay patient” instead of “move on”? Or am I holding onto something I’m supposed to let go of?
I don’t want to delude myself. I just want clarity. I want to do what Allah wants from me, not what my emotions want. I’m genuinely asking for guidance from people who’ve been in this exact place. just to add… this whole situation has genuinely brought me closer to Allah. I feel His presence more than I ever have, and I’m grateful for that. But I also know that I don’t need heartbreak to stay connected to Him — I want to keep praying because I truly want that relationship with Allah. I just can’t tell whether I’m supposed to be praying for him, or if that’s the part I need to let go of.
Dear muslim brothers and sisters,
I want to warn you all before it is too late, like it is for me. It feels like my heart is sealed. I know 100% Allah swt is here and believe everything and the quran to be 100% truth. But I lost my imaan because of sinning. I never felt this lost and depressive in life, but I know and acknowledge it is from my own faults. Allah has always been merciful to me but I transgressed too much.
When I pray I feel like a munafiq, I feel like my heart is dead. 😭😞
Plz consider yourself very blessed while having Imaan because thats all that matters. RESTRAIN FROM SINS WHEN YOU EVER GET A TEMPTATION TO SIN GO RUN OUTSIDE OR GO DO SOMETHING ELSE. Plz pray for me that Allah swt maybe unseals my heart or takes me out of jahannam one day. I am really scared may Allah swt forgive me and all muslims.
Imagine a man who once stood against Islam with all his strength.
Then imagine that same man turning 180°, becoming one of its greatest defenders.
That was ʿUmar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb (RA).
A Reminder to Reflect:
from
Which companion inspires you most, and why?
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Hi everyone, I was wondering if you had any tips for stopping dwelling on my past and feeling guilty about it. I feel so guilty about things I did before my conversion (my Muslim boyfriend often makes me feel this way too, since he knew me before when I was an atheist). I'm tired of having to justify myself to him for every single thing in my past... I'm a Muslim, and I converted because I wanted Allah to forgive me for my life before Islam (I was addicted to drugs/alcohol, etc.) and to give me the light He gave me when I discovered Islam. I could give a thousand and one reasons why I chose Islam, how my life has been transformed, and how much I love Allah with all my heart. But here's the thing: every time someone reminds me of my past, I feel bad, I feel guilty, I suffer because of it, and I don't know how to ask Allah for help. I am also in therapy which is helping me move forward but I would just like to have some tips to calm my heart and above all, stop being angry with myself because Allah has forgiven me for this past that I hate so much.
Asw everyone,
I am slightly confused on how a young Muslim is supposed to navigate finding a pious spouse to marry without the aid of the help from parents. My parents are anti-social and don't have that many connections so my reach to external families is virtually non-existent. From what I have observed myself I have realised that approaching a women for marriage without knowing her initially does not turn out so well as they are reluctant if they don't already know you, which only leaves the option of dating them first which is also haram (and of course a pious woman wouldn't agree to that either) so this is where I see the dilemma.
If anyone could give any valuable input, it would be greatly appreciated. Also if a sister could also provide their perspective of how they see it from a woman's side, that would also be very helpful. :)
Please someone guide me in what I can do to avail Allahs mercy on my situation. What advice do you if you need a super complex situation resolved ?
Salam everyone,
I have an elderly giant rabbit with heart failure, arthritis, and terminal cancer (specifically a very aggressive soft tissue sarcoma on his hind leg). When he was first diagnosed with the cancer two months ago, the vet was clear this was a terminal condition and pre-emptively booked a euthanasia appointment later that week should he start to show signs of struggling to mobilise because of where the cancer was. Alhamdullilah with multiple medications, courses of antibiotics and bandage changes from us, he has managed to live beyond this expectation for a further two months.
However he is now showing signs of struggling with the leg i.e. the toes seem to be paralysed and he can lose balance while hopping / jumping and has difficulty in scratching himself. He also just doesn’t move as much, and the leg dressing changes have become almost intolerable for him.
The vet has advised it is generally kinder to euthanise pets while they still have some quality of life (as he is still able to eat and drink and take medications) as opposed to waiting until he has deteriorated so much that he is suffering greatly and unable to eat, as animals live in the present and don’t really have a concept of what to expect tomorrow.
I have two questions regarding this. I understand he has a terminal condition and will only continue to deteriorate from here, is it haram to euthanise him at this point given that there is no cure for his condition and knowing there will be more suffering ahead, or is it something we should only reserve when he is suffering greatly?
My other question is what is the recommendation if any on donating our pets’ bodies to science? It seems there isn’t a lot of research for the cancer he has and I thought it might help another pet further down the line if there was more research on it, but also I hear that the remains are generally cremated afterwards and that makes me hesitate.
Any advice is much appreciated 🙏
Hi everyone, I made a post on here about a week ago talking about how I feel pulled towards Islam and I wanted to talk about it a bit more.
I was raised an atheist until I became a Catholic at 14. I have now met a Muslim man who I fell in love with and we are planning on getting married. We naturally talked about religion a lot and I have really been feeling a pull towards Islam. Throughout my years of being Catholic I have been ignored by the preist who I asked for guidance from and felt judged and unwelcome by my local Catholic community. I made a post on the Christian reddit because I wanted to get some support from both sides while I figure this out and so many people were so rude and passive aggressive I was honestly surprised. Since learning about Islam I have felt so much support. I've had so many people offering advice and messaging me with encouragement and its just been so lovely.
I still have so much to learn. I did get sent some advice on this on my last post but Im open to more advice if anyone has any. My husband to be doesn't actually know that I'm considering this. I didn't want to tell him until I was serious about this and I think I am now. I dont want him to think that Im doing this to please him and not because I genuinely feel a pull towards Islam. I also don't know if there is an official thing I have to do (like when catholics get christened ect). Any advice on any of this would be greatly appreciated.
Oh and also does anyone have any advice on telling family that may not fully support?
I have heard of many hadiths out there where the prophet (pbuh) says "whoever does x will never smell the fragrance of paradise let alone go to paradise" but doesnt allah (swt) forgive all sins? Im a recent convert and i would like to gain more knowledge.
Hi everyone, I reverted to Islam 2 or 3 years ago. I was a Christian before and left it when I started to truly learn Christianity and realize I wasn’t in agreement with a lot of things (mainly Trinity and divinity of Jesus) and what I believed in all my life was actually Islam, I just didn’t knew it. My faith in Allah and in Islam is strong but sometimes I miss Christianity, mainly for the aesthetic, the magnificent churches, the rituals, the Latin chant, the event (Christmas, Easter…) but also the community which is often nicer than the Islamic one. I don’t miss the faith and the beliefs that I do not agree with at all. It’s like I’m nostalgic about my previous religion and the community I am no longer part of. I still consider the religion beautiful and have a lot of respect for it.
But I still feel bad for thinking like that, I feel like my thoughts are shirk. I was wondering if any former Christian was thinking similarly as I ?
Feel free to answer me but please be nice 💕
I m cenabet right know but i dont wash few days.i dont feel so good. I been kusmak az önce i eat while i was cenabet i dont feels so good i actually pray but nothing happens im payı to hod somebody help somebody help
Sorry my english is bad im hasta dont feel so good
During Salah for the Sajdah, we read “Subhana rabbiyal aala” x3 along with “La ilaha illa anta subhanaka inni Kuntum minaz zalimeen” and spend a few moments in sajdah making personal duas - is this allowed or accepted? Or is Faradh only for Allah?
I've stumbled on forums on and outside of Reddit, groups, communities, whatever you want to call them. Some of those groups had people who'd be indulging in tons of immoral acts and sins, and they preached them like they were allowed.
I would see people talking about how being gay is not actually a sin (same with trans), how crossdressing is actually not a sin (as they claim it wasn't mentioned in the Quran). I've even seen some trying to justify zina, dating, some even alcohol.
A pattern I see with them is that most if not all reject the hadith, they will ignore all the hadith references. I have never seen or talked to a person who could bring up a true logical argument for rejecting hadith. They usually reject it because instead they'd have to change their ways.
A person does a certain act, they see that it is actually haram in the hadith, start rejecting all of the hadith. They bend religion instead of bending themselves. Islam is one constant, Quran has never been changed since it was revealed, and now they try to justify these things?
None try to reason as much. They only have an attempt at reason when trying to justify why something is allowed, never trying to realize why it was made a prohibition in the first place.
For some, sadly, Islam has become nothing more than just desires. Some do not have any moral compass, they only react with emotions. Most can't even use reason to argue or debate. They start insulting you and calling you names the same moment you oppose their stance.
I could also go on to talk about the people who are just like this, but their drive is arrogance. Some will think themselves better than others and use religion to justify their behavior. If you gave these people a position of power, they'd certainly turn into cruel tyrants. The stories I hear and read about certain people using Islam to justify violence, regardless if it is in their homes or wider, they are horrible.
Islam in my opinion, the true Islam, it is neither as restrictive as some claim, nor is it as full of freedom as some try to make it to be.
May Allah guide us all towards the right path. Certainly we are in dark times, the truth is confusing. May Allah show the true path to those who are being blinded by others. He truly sees all and knows all. May He have mercy on us and guide us, for some of us are truly blinded by desires.
So, sorry if I'm posting a bit too excessively but I'm just getting too overwhelmed with questions; if anyone can please explain them to me please do
what if atheism is true? The atheist arguments against Islam seem reasonable for some reason
why do people intentionally say that the quran has scientific miracles even though it has multiple interpretations and with some of them being thought of earlier than the Qur'an?
is islam 100% against human evolution? What if adam (A.S) was just the first human given a soul?
how can we know that atheism isn't true? It scares me.. like, what if my life serves no purpose and I'm just a sack of bones and flesh?
I am extremely sorry if I offend or annoy anyone either because of my message or because I'm asking too much, if anyone can clarify something, please do.
Also I think I'm making a mistake of reassuring myself again :/
Salam users,
Say I have a question plucked from the pool of oft-repeated internet discussions. Who do I ask? If I'm to ask it on this platform, what reason is there to trust your opinion? Many can write at length and quote from works that I myself have difficulty understanding; and others chime in with arguments of their own, just as confident.
Some advise that I should reason through it myself, that I'm my own final arbiter to the questions I bring. However, I always found this advice weirdly circular: taking this advice means that I've already deferred some judgement over to them. That's to say, I already chose to trust them the moment I brought up my query.
How should I, then, learn? How can one determine that their own judgement is the trustworthy decision?
Say I have that same question, why should I trust that it's a viable question to begin with? What if, by my own belief in the value of said question, that the conclusion is already defined?
I dislike this practically infinite access to information because I doubt that I could parse through it and come out having formed an independent opinion. It really looks like I've jumped between camps adopting their normative positions. And each camp has its self-narrative - unspoken but pervasive - that directs what questions are worth asking and what the answers are supposed to look like.
And consider if my access to information is actually infinite when I don't recognise myself moving along to the suggestions of an algorithm, then what independence did I really have in formulating my own beliefs?
To say what I dislike while I'm engaging in it, it's seems clear that I've already made a decision - even if I'm not mindful of it.
Asalaamu alaykum,
As from my previous posts.
I want to ask if anyone can offer any quick jobs here and there I can do for you, maybe numbers adding, or creating spreadsheets and inputting data. Anything really to be able to earn some money!
I am in a serious ordeal and I have a small job but I don't earn much at all from it. So I just need to make up money for a longer term accommodation deposit and rent etc.
Im UK born and bred, Manchester based.
You'll see from my past posts how I've been struggling with this for a year plus, I've tried to end my life before and am feeling seriously on edge now again
Any help would be appreciated Inshallah
Hello all,
I’ve wanted to revert for a long time. There are so many teachings in Islam I really connect to. Dressing modestly overall is no issue but hijab is not something I feel I can do or see myself doing. This is my only qualm about reverting .
Does this mean I should not revert?
Thank you all
I work at the supermarket. And in Germany we have pfand so when you bring back old bottles you get a receipt which you give at the checkout and you get Money back/ your purchase gets cheaper. And there was this man Today who Said that he gave me a receipt but I was so sure he didnt (if it was 3 euro I would give it to him but he Said it was 19 euro) I called my coworkers and we told him we cant give it to him without proof. At the end he payed the Price but still Said it was my fault and I have to be more careful. Little later I looked in the trash and saw a receipt with the amount he said. I think he gave it to me and without scanning it I through it in the trash. Ich felt so sorry and instantly repented and asked for forgiveness from Allah. But I think I need forgivness from the other Person because I did him wrong but ofc I don’t know who he is. I feel so sorry also because I think he has an turkish accent so I even made the repution of us in Germany in Front of my coworkers who think he was a fraud. Can he forgive me on the day of judgment when I can explain it to him or does he Need to forgive me in this dunya?
I've been using this manual for years, but I feel like there are some differences that I've noticed while doing more research to ensure I am doing things 100% properly, and pronouncing words as exactly as possible.
Firstly, the transliterated pronunciation that some of these sections for repeated phrases seem different. For example, page 13 says "ash-hadu anla ilaha ill-allah", but page 25 says "ash-hadu alla ilaha ill-allah", the difference being anla vs alla. Is there really no difference? The document is created by Al Rashid Mosque based in Canada, titled how-to-pray-book-salah_230913_092727-1-1
Secondly, the manual says to say "aootho billahi..." and Al Fatiha after the opening takbir, but this video, the demonstrator just says "subhanallah" with a 20 second pause, before going into Ruku. The difference being two very distinct phrases, the manual having no pause, and the manual says to say "subhanna rabiyal atheem" in Ruku. Is this a regional difference? The video is created by SFM-Academy, titled How to Pray the 4 Rakat Prayer for Very New Muslim Reverts | Beginners Guide to Islam (Part 7)
What is the CORRECT guideline? My family is inclined towards Hanafi mazab. Thank you
In the past year or so I have been trying really really hard to be a better Muslim. I truly believe that Allah ﷻ is all knowing and that every ruling he has put upon us is for our own benefit. However, I feel there are so many small things and confounding variables that are weighing me down in life, so much so that I truly find no real joy in being alive. I apologize if the rest of my post is discombobulated.
There are a lot of little things. One of the big ones is drawing. I used to love drawing. It was truly one of the only things that brought me happiness. I always had a sketchbook with my characters or others that I drew. Everyone, including people in my muslim community knew me as the artist. However, I eventually really sat down and thought about the things I had been online, and I came to the conclusion that it was no longer permissible for me to draw these things. I believe that was a year ago, and to this very moment I feel a hole in my heart from not being allowed to do such a thing. I understand the basis for why it's haram, but I can't help but think "I get it by I wouldn't display my drawings, I wouldn't show them to people, I wouldn't worship them. So why am I not allowed this simple thing?" Some times I burst into tears because of it. What is especially hard I have other people close to me who still partake in it and think nothing of it. My brother makes amazing draws and animations, and he's always so excited to show me because in his eyes, I'm still the art kid who he can relate to and who relates to him. My best friend is learning to draw, and she is aware of my struggled but also has started drawing animals and figures. Im not even mad at them for such things or want them to stop. I'm so so devastatingly sad with myself.
People say I can draw non-animate things, but I truly have no desire for these things. It sparks no joy whatsoever. I want to draw people, never as a form of worship, Audhubillah, but just for expression. I get why we are told not to. I see the pictures online of people having whole shrines dedicated to fictional characters, and that has to be a form of shirk intentional or not. But I don't want to do that. I just want to draw my silly little ideas and that's it. No profit, no obsession, or showing off. Just for me. There is this strange cognitive dissonance of "I want to do this so bad but I know I shouldn't and I know Allah ﷻ has forbade it." But still I yearn for that. I just take it day by day of don't draw don't draw don't draw. I know I'm giving it up for the sake of Allah ﷻ and I should be happy because of that but I can't help this sense of misery in my heart.
I can't even change my Madhab. I'm hanafi, and I've read that Maliki allow drawing. But then I read that we cannot change our madhab to follow our nafs, and that I basically cannot pick and choose. So that feels like another dead end.
Related to that, I used to love games, anime, manga, and books. Loved if. I spend hundreds of dollars on physical volumes, I looked forward to certain days of the week for new chapters and episodes. It made me so, so happy. Whats important to note is that I liked fantasy of all sorts, I like the action and the lore and the world building all of that. However, I started to look into and again felt this was another thing I needed to let go of for the sake of Allah ﷻ. I was terrified I was accidentally committing shirk even if I knew 100% that these things were fictional and that no one or thing could ever compare to Allah ﷻ And I have. I stopped watching those things, threw out all my old manga and novels. I had a couple of anime figures gifted and bought. I threw those away as well. Again, I know I did the right thing but I also find no happiness anymore. I look online and see the things I used to love, and I have to turn away because I get so sad. I struggle to find anything to watch, because I think "that has magic, that has magic, that has magic." Chatgpt must be sick of me because I always force it to do a deepdive on a given show to see if I can watch it. 99.9% it has elements that make me feel that I shouldn't be watching it. Again, I feel like I have this void in me that is completely deprived of joy.
I'm bored and miserable all the time. People say "go watch a movie or play a game" and I can't tell them "I cannot because of XYZ." It's especially hard when it's other muslims telling me these things. I just think "are you guys not scared of Allah ﷻ? Are you mot scared of being taken out of the fold of islam, intentionally or accidentally?How are you doing something without a second thought when I can't ever stop thinking about it." It feels that no one understands my struggles with these things.
I think the worst part is related to my relationship with my husband. We got married a few months ago and are currently not living together due to Visa issues. One oversight on my part was prayer. Salah is something that is so immensely important to me. I feel immense stress at not praying my prayers on time, so much so that I'll ask my family to bend our family plans to ensure we are able to properly pray on time. They get mad at me for it, but it's something I can't shake, nor do I want to shake it.
How does this relate to my husband? Well, he doesn't pray. The worst part is I learned this before the Nikkah, and I let my parents convince me that it was okay, because all (desi at least) men are like this, and that they always pray when they start living with their wives. It has been an immense regret for me. My husband only cares about his job, and he claims he always trusts Allah ﷻ but he can't even give our Lord 25 minutes of his day for salah. He even had a near-death experience before we met, and instead of taking that mercy as a chance to be grateful to Allah ﷻ and correct his way of life, he says he wants to use his second chance at life as an opportunity to travel and see the world and climb mountains.
It has killed any ounce attraction I had for him, and I know we both know our relationship is strained, but I can't tell him it's because he doesn't pray. Other than that, he has a wonderful character, but I can't get over how little he actively prioritizes his religion. He says he believes, he pays Zakat and such, but I don't feel that is enough.
I especially feel that way because I've given up so much of what I love for the sake of Allah ﷻ while he can't even give 25 minutes of his day. It feels unfair, and it feels we aren't on the same page. I don't draw, gave up my favorite things. And my husband? He actively talks to me about the current shows and things he is watching, which are all the things I've given up. I've told him I gave up those things that I adored and he doesn't have the sense to not bring it up around me, let alone still partake. He says "oh right, you don't watch these things" and then brings it up in the next conversation. It's so hard. I take these things so seriously and to him it's like a joke.
My mom jokes that she should have married me off to a sheik. I think that even if I am not a perfect muslim, I would have been happier that way because at least I would have someone intentionally trying to help me improve. It makes me feel alone on my journey in Islam. No one understands me, and the few people who I have told (aside from my best friend) label me an extremist and tell me I should be enjoying life and not stressing about things like that. How can I enjoy life when nothing I love is permissible?
I struggle with religious OCD. It makes me wonder if I am even genuine in my religion, or if my attempts at improving myself for the sake of Allah ﷻ is coming from me or my mental illness. I want to be better for Allah ﷻ, but am I only doing so because of this disease? Or is it fear? Am I even a decent muslim? Or any of improvements even genuine? It makes me hesitant to accept anything but the most strict ruling on some matters. I'm scared of accidentally sinning.
I really am struggling. I have no joy in my life. Anything I enjoyed, even with good intentions, is not permissible. I understand this is only hard because I grew up in a society and culture that didn't sweat the small stuff. Pray, don't eat pork/drink alcohol, fast, dress modest, and boom, you're fine according to them. Like, sometimes I think I'm so pathetic I laugh because there are muslims dying and starving and I'm crying because I can't draw? Like seriously? Either way, misery is something I can't help but feel has become my permanent companion. Sometimes I'm glad we as humans don't live as long as Prophet Adam (A.S), because I'm not sure I'd be able to stand being miserable for so long.
I don't even know what I want out of this post, whether it's a way out, just to vent, or what. I wonder if there is anyone who truly understands my plight without the need to belittle me. If anyone knows any genuine and trusted rulings that could lighten my burden, I would be open to that. I just ask that you all keep me in your duas to help me with such a trivial issue.
I’m writing this because I’ve been struggling deeply with my own mistakes and I don’t know how to forgive myself.
Lately I’ve done things I’m not proud of - things that took me far from who I want to be as a Muslim. I let loneliness, desire, and anger control me. I said terrible things to my mother out of frustration. She cursed me in anger, and I’ve been terrified ever since that I’ve doomed myself. I can’t stop replaying it in my mind. I know I’ve sinned, and I take full responsibility for that. I’ve also realized how weak I’ve become with discipline: how easily I fall for temporary comfort, attention, or validation instead of turning to Allah. I want to change that. I want to feel clean again: spiritually, mentally, emotionally.
If anyone has been through something similar and found a way back to peace, I’d appreciate your advice or a du’a. I just want to rebuild my connection with Allah and forgive myself enough to start again.
FYI, I don’t smoke, drink or do drugs or anything.
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I received this email from Hamza Yusuf’s renovatio email list and found it too good not to share, Mashallah very well written article but here’s a blurb: << When modernity insists that the universe is the product of mere chance, it overlooks the profound harmony woven into creation. In this excerpt from a personal reflection, Asad Islam—an award-winning scientist with a PhD in electrical, computer, and systems engineering—describes earth as a precisely balanced home for life. From the sun’s exact distance and the moon’s stabilizing pull to atmospheric cycles, tectonic shifts, and magnetic shielding, every element is finely tuned. Even slight deviations, he observes, would render life impossible. “Our planet has many characteristics that make it habitable, hospitable, and rich with the resources needed for complex life. Perturbing any one of its planetary, geophysical, and ecological dynamics would destabilize it and cause life to perish. The sun has the precise size, brightness, stability, and distance from the earth to sustain life on our planet. If the sun were slightly smaller or farther away, the oceans on our planet would freeze, while they would boil if the sun were larger or closer. Either way, life on earth would perish. Likewise, the moon’s size and distance from the earth are optimal for producing the precise gravitational pull that keeps the planet from wobbling, which would create a hazardous climate for life. The earth’s axial tilt and elliptical orbital revolution around the sun produce friendly seasonal variations and widespread rainfall amenable to life. Slight deviations in either attribute would make earth’s climate too extreme for life. The earth’s rotational speed—neither too fast nor too slow—also aligns with circadian biology and sustains weather patterns apt for life. The earth’s mass is just right for its gravity to allow complex life to move easily on land. With sufficient deviation in mass, biological species would either be pulled heavily to the ground or bounce around in the air. The earth’s plate tectonics adds new land mass and atmospheric gases to its ecosystem to replenish them against losses; otherwise, the planet would eventually lose its mountains and flatten and be covered with oceans. The planet’s magnetic field protects life from the dangerous solar winds and cosmic rays from deep space, while its atmosphere shields life from meteors and cosmic debris. Without either protection, life would perish. The earth’s sizable sea-to-land ratio secures a stable temperature and adequate water supply, both necessary for life, while its atmospheric composition of gases enables life to survive.” Read the full essay to see how nature is too complex to originate through chance. [link] [comments] |
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