Wallahi, even in Ramadan, I don't feel the urge to come closer to Allah. Even as I'm writing this, I feel there is no point in trying to get closer to Allah SWT. Because every time I pray, I don't feel anything. Every time I pray and force myself to pray all the prayers for a week, I still don't feel anything. Every time I try to do tawbah and ask Allah for forgiveness, I don't feel like I'm sincere. Even when I try, it's like I don't even believe in what I'm saying and asking Allah for forgiveness. I should read the Quran. I should try to gain knowledge about who Allah is, to fear Him and to gain love for Him. But I don't know where to start. I have all the basic knowledge of how to pray. I know some hadith (mostly the typical ones). But wallahi, I only get a temporary boost when watching Islamic videos. I don't feel a genuine connection to Allah, and sometimes it's like Allah doesn't want me to come to Him at this time. I don't know, man. I know that Allah loves me, but why can't I love the Quran? And praying is so frustrating. If it's not in Ramadan, when will it be?
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