Disrespecting my mother

Hey everyone,

I'm a 19 year old female Muslim. I'm having a hard time with my mother. I'm in university and still live with my parents. But, my mother in the past year has been down my throat for everything. I am a bit behind on my study schedule, but I'm trying to catch up. She does the same exact thing on daily asking Sara finish. U need to finish every few hours of the day. When are u gonna finish? You have to finish. I start to get stressed out, and I tell her that I will get it done. She starts asking "when," etc. I start to get frustrated cause I am like I will get it, I am trying my best." She makes fun of me of being a failure and not studying hard enough. She is constantly there for everything. She comes during the night to clean, when I have to sleep cause I have to wake up for Fajr then uni early and I keep telling her she can clean after I leave or I can do it myself. Yesterday, we got into a huge fight about my studies, and she flipped my papers and study table. Then she started to cuss at me and slap me. Then it she proceed to get the broom and hit me with it while I was on the floor picking up my things and shocking me to the point i was at my last few breaths. What i mean by humiliation? She took her foot and started stepping on my face. This past year, I have had enough of her constant comments, beatings, judgments about me and due to that it led me to disrespect my mother which I know in islam is a massive sin.

I have put my hands on my mother before, due to not being able to handle the beating anymore or the humiliation and cuss at her back I know this is all out of anger inside of me. That's why yesterday, I didn't fight back but was left with bruises as a result of that. I don't know how much longer I can go! She keeps saying Allah won't bless you, and allah ma wafeq is disheartening coming from my mom.

I'm asking how can I ask for forgiveness from Allah for disobeying my mother, talking back to her and putting my hands on her.

submitted by /u/Legitimate_Course686
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