I hate myself to the core. Would swap my soul with a poor starving child. Rather be an innocent person with a bad life than human garbage with a not so bad life. You probably think that's selfish because I have more opportunities in this life but I'm likely to go hell in the next one while the innocent poor person is unlikely. If I could I would split myself into two smaller copies and make them kill each other and repeat the splitting till the last two atoms remaining die.

I can never forgive myself and am demoralised to do anything with my life beyond praying and the sort, l'm only here because if I die now I'm going to hell and suicide will add to the punishment. Yeah life is a test that's meant to be hard so I'm forced to go through this. Any ways to ignore my thoughts and just carry on for the next 50 or so years I may live?

submitted by /u/failedmuslim
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