Assalamualaikum. Having some troubles navigating where I go from here.
Alhamdulilah I married a Muslim man of my choice in 2021. He is Afghan Pashtun and I am Pakistani Punjabi. He works and earns for himself, does well, and alhamdulilah I am a doctor. My parents delayed my marriage to him due to the fact he is not a doctor, him being Pashtun, and their desires for me to marry someone in Pakistan/ the village/ a family they know.
Fast forward to 2022, alhamdulilah we deliver our first child. This is my parents first grandchild. I had a challenging pregnancy mentally; I had anxiety and stress. My husband supported me throughout the entire pregnancy, made every effort to improve my relationships with my own parents by driving with me 6 hours to see them and spend time with them.
My parents decide to surprise us 3 days postpartum by seeing us, driving 6 hours. My husband and I are both sleep deprived new parents and yet find ourselves hosting my parents and serving meals. It came to the point to make our lives easier, we used paper plates. My own father berates and screams at my husband for being lazy and serving paper plates. This is 2 days from coming home from the hospital after a 3 day long induction and 2 days of being anxious about babies jaundice, we both have not slept. No emotional or physical support from my parents. Just my own father expecting a meal on a ceramic plate. My father attempts to PUNCH my husband and cusses at him.
Following this; my parents disrespect him more by accusing him and his family of doing black magic to get me to marry him, accuse him of marrying me to benefit from me financially. But throughout all this, my husband asks them to leave, respect his home and not cuss in front of their grandchild. My husband raised his voice and spoke up for himself. I feel embarrassed that he has to defend himself against their accusations.
My parents expect me to contribute financially to them, despite my dad working a really good job and brothers working as well. Just because I earn as a doctor, they want me to give my paychecks to them. My husband has not asked for a dime from me, and supports our household.
In addition, my child is now 2 months old. I have unfortunately not spoken to my father following this incident, have emotionally suffered from postpartum depression and this situation has worsened my own mental state. I am struggling with my duty as a daughter to them, a wife, and now a new mother. I look at my child and never can think to place him in a an emotional state that my own parents placed me in.
My parents have expressed to my sister that they wish for their happiness for me to divorce my husband. This is a form of fitna in my eyes. How can my own parents wish ill of my marriage and due to the situation they caused!
I need advice. Please. I am struggling emotionally and spiritually. I am praying for help and advice.
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