I found out a couple of months ago how bad of a father and a husband my dad is. Since childhood he's played the innocent victim and who ended up with a horrible wife. I spent so many years defending him and almost cutting ties with my mother because of how badly she treated him. They've been divorced for over a year now and I can't believe how blind I've been. I can't believe how I was used and manipulated for years by the man who was supposed to be....I don't even know what he's supposed to be because I don't know what a good father is anymore. He's been using me to make himself look good. He's a passive father, has always burdened my mother with responsibilities because he didn't want to do anything. At one point he decided out of nowhere to "retire" 20 years early and burdened my mother with financing the house too. He got angry when she got home from work too tired to cook or clean. He called her lazy when she would sleep all day even though he knew how tired she was. After their divorce I found out that she attempted to take her own life because of how bad her mental state was.
After 27 years I realised how toxic my father actually is. We were practically conditioned to treat her badly and think she's a bad mother when all she's done was try and vent about how she's actually the victim in all of this. No parent should ever discuss marital problems with their kids. She's not right for talking like this to her kids about their father but the woman was helpless. My father is no man and I can't bring myself to even look at him anymore. What do I do? I know I can't cut ties because then I'd be disobeying Allah. But I honestly can't bring myself to talk to him. I come up with any excuse not to see him or talk to him because I can't.
This post is a mess and I'm sorry. He's been here visiting all day and I can't bring myself to go downstairs and talk to him.
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