I'm 24 now and really want to get into a relationship. I know preferably marriage is better but I doubt I will be able to get married because I don't want kids. So this greatly reduces my options. Trust me this is something I'm extremely sure I will not change my mind on so I don't want anyone trying to convince me otherwise in the comments. Unlike a lot of other people I see children as a burden. People are rarely honest about how hard raising children is. I've already been through so much in my life I know I don't want to add children to the list.

Anyway I'm struggling with zina a lot these days. It's been a struggle for me for a while but it's gotten stronger in the last couple of weeks for some reason. And I'm seeing all these couples online it's hard not to get curious about what it's like and want to experience what they have. A boyfriend seems easier to get then a husband now because I'm not ready for marriage. I have so many things I need to work on. Any advice from someone whos been there or going through this?

I want to add that most of the women my age in my family got married after dating

I prefer a womans perspective but I'm open to anyone who has good advice. I just feel like sex and relationships are different for muslim men than muslim women. Muslim men get to go on and on about how difficult it is for them to stay away from zina but let a muslim woman be honest about her own struggles and watch how many of them try to belittle or even shame her for how she feels. I hate how so many muslim men downplay womans desires. I remember seeing a video of a famous speaker talking about how he was answering questions at an event and he was shocked by a woman asking if oral sex was okay and he acted disgusted by her audacity to ask such a thing, especially so publicly. When there's nothing immodest about her asking about it. It's just a question, she wasn't talking about her own sex life. I'm sure people asked more explicit questions to scholars in the past and they didn't turn their nose up at them.

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