It's almost universal consensus among Muslims, from the ultra liberal to the ultra conservative, that for a non-Muslim to convert to Islam for the purpose of marriage is wrong and should be avoided. Despite some of the anecdotal stories about it just not working out due to the cultural differences, the vast majority of Islamic history and the spread of Islam is characterized by conversion through marriage. To deny this is to deny a very common human tendency and the spread and expansion of human civilizations. It is also contradicts the sunnah. If it were impermissible, or even looked down upon, it's likely that we would not have seen such an expansion.
Aside from the sociological component of this, from a religious perspective, prohibiting conversion for marriage is absolutely absurd. The primary reason, in my opinion, for this absurdity stems from ignorance about what Islam actually is. And ignorance about what Islam actually is stems from a fundamental metaphysical error; with the rise of modernity, humanity, but especially Muslims, have adopted a materialist-atheistic paradigm of the world. As a result, Islam has been reduced to a mere identity that defines the individual and the collective ego. Islam as a religion has become the ends in and of itself, but because it's merely the cloth of the ego, it's really the ego that has become the ends, both on an individual level and a societal level; religiosity thus is merely the validation of one's ego through religious themes and appearances, similar to how a sports team is the mechanism by which fans who self-identify with that team validate their egos.
From the perspective of the ego, for a person to convert for the sake of marriage appears like they are merely trying to appease the ego for something in return. It's thus seen as a form of manipulation, and thus the person who is converting is regarded with distrust and suspicion.
Part of the problem of conceptualizing Islam as an ends is that it becomes a veil between oneself and God. Anything that is taken as an ends other than God has become an idol. Islam is not an ends, God is. Shaykh Hamza Yusuf explained the hadith of Gibril, in Gibril questioned the Prophet about Islam, Iman, and Ihsan. Islam is merely a door, it's a practice, it's a way. How people approach Islam is of no consequence precisely because it's not the ends. How one arrived at the dojo, whether by walking or by taxi, does not matter as long as you learn the martial art.
Islam is a river that you are meant to drink from and to purify oneself in, not merely look at. But when you stop at Islam, when you make it the ends, when you limit your spiritual and intellectual engagement to the outward form, to the physical, then you deprive yourself of its sustenance and the underlying reality that it leads to. Shaykh Hamza made an important point when talking about Shari'ah, saying that today, most Muslims worship the law instead of God; the law was created by God to serve mankind. Mankind was not created to serve a set of rules. Shari'ah is not a set of rules, but people turn it into that when they are ignorant of the First Principles of Islam because to them, again, Islam as a set of outward rituals and codified beliefs. It is something static and fixed that we use to define a false and contrived self. The problem is that when you view religion in such a way, then beliefs are reduced to not much more than identity markers that you have to check off in order to gain entry to the social group. So the reason why people tend to discourage someone from converting due to marriage is that they won't actually check off those markers of identity. That they are not sincere, that they have not really submitted to the social group, and so the collective ego does not feel fully validated. And not feeling fully validated, as is the tendency of the narcissist, there is distrust.
Many Muslims see acceptance of Islam as salvation per se, as the end of the path, as reaching the goal, as actualization, as achieving Enlightenment, as arrival. But they forget the verse that describes how simply saying that one believes is insufficient, and that a person will be tested. And another part of the problem is that we don't really know what the nature of tests are. The fundamental Principle behind the concept of tests is attachment because attachment is the mechanism of idolatry. The only way to pass those tests is through spiritual mastery which enables us to sever attachment. It is through the cultivation of the Heart and the disciplining of the ego, and through this, we come to truly worship God alone.
But when you view religious through the atheistic-materialist lens of modernity, then there is no concept of spiritual mastery or purification of the Heart. There is the notion that, if you're Muslim then you're saved. And even if it's not intentional, it necessarily gives rise to a sense of superiority towards non-believers, or, those who converted for marriage. They are not saved and thus we are better, is the belief that arises. The only reason these sorts of religious folks judge is because they feel they are qualified to judge, and they only feel qualified because the qualifications for becoming a judge is so fantastically low.
Islam is fundamentally a spiritual tradition through which a person cultivates the Heart and disciplines the ego. Through spiritual mastery, Islam eventually leads a person to Iman, which is belief. You cannot get to that stage without ardent striving, of uncovering the spiritual illnesses that reside within one's Heart and effacing them. That is the purpose of tests. And to have belief is a profound thing because it can, if cultivated correctly through the spiritual way, transform into core beliefs that exist on a deeply fundamental level of Being. When they are established as core beliefs, then it redefines our sense of self and changes the paradigm through which we perceive reality. It is how we remove the materialist paradigm and replace it with the metaphysical or spiritual paradigm.
In doing so, these core beliefs actualize as realities within the Heart, and this pertains to the concept of spiritual unveiling and elevation to higher spiritual stations. And as we reach higher and higher spiritual stations, which pertain to the concept of Enlightenment, then we enter into the realm of Ihsan, or Beauty; Beauty is often said by the great spiritual masters to be the Splendor of Truth, the Light of God shining in this world through the Heart. And it is experienced through the prison of humanity, in abundant emotional states, through compassion, through consistent and honorable behavior, through consistent and coherent beliefs and logic, and also through truth and uprightness and all noble character traits, especially courage and the absence of fear. And so as has been traditionally understood, Islam is a transformative religion or tradition. It is not a static thing that one enters into and then you stay the same person.
If you're not changing, then you haven't fully entered Islam, you haven't passed through the door. In this case, even if you've been a Muslim all your life, even if outwardly you appear ever so pious, a new convert who approaches Islam, regardless of how they arrived at the door, but walks through it, will have surpassed you instantly. Fundamentally it especially does not matter how a person has come to Islam because Islam is not the end goal. Those who perceive Islam as the end goal have not taken even one step along its path.
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