I need to talk to someone but i don’t have the resources, and i need muslims because sometimes the advice and mental health stuff are different for non muslims as they dont believe in the qadar.
I am suspicious that i may have BPD as i experience almost every symptom, what i want to talk about is my FP (favorite person), an FP in bpd terms is a person who i basically depend all my emotions to and i am so extremely attached it is not even funny. For instance, she gives someone more attention that me, i kid you not i will cry and break down as if my whole world collapsed, she doesn’t respond or responds e, another breakdown, and so on, it goes both ways too if she gave me attention or we spent time i would be ecstatic and over the moon and all my motivation and love for life shows up.
I know that none of this is rational, i am well aware that she is allowed to have other bonds and friendships, i am aware that she does not owe me every second of her day, in fact she does not owe me anything! I know all of this i knoooow! But i swear my emotions are so unregulated when i get triggered none of these rational thoughts matter, i would either be in a rage or a full breakdown, i wont hear or listen to any advice wether its internal or external. I do have euphoric episodes where i am literally the happiest person alive, then it would be followed with a crash of the most gut wrenching depression known to man.
I pray all 5 prayers on time, i ask allah in every prayer to help me, to put my heart and mind at ease, to guide me, i know i need patience and i do have trust in allah wallah i do. I just really need feedback as to how i can deal and cope with this because i love her so much but this is consuming me, my brain is literally destructing me, i keep on sabotaging my own happiness, and i hate feeling like this i hate thinking like this.
Please any help, kind words, ayat from quran, hadeeths, would help me alot.
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