God knows how much it bothers me since I almost know that I'm not gonna make it to Firdaus. I mean I'm a pretty shy person with severe social anxiety... Not the kind of person that is favored in Islam. I tried to treat it but failed. I'm also in a war-torn terrible country the possibility of me having a future is just very slim.
I can't contribute to anything I can't even contribute to my home how will I do much good to earn Firdaus? I have enough problems in life and constant thinking about Jannah and its ranks doesn't help me at all.
I don't like feeling inferior to another human being I felt that enough in this dunya, but at least I thought that death would free me of that inferiority eventually. Now after accepting Islam more even that comfort isn't granted to me.
I'm not smart enough to leave beneficial knowledge nor do I think ill ever accomplish or do anything in this life. I feel utterly defeated I just wish that Akhira wasn't so linked to this stupid dunya. Death just felt so much freeing before all of this... At least everything equals out in it.
I'm sorry if this all reads like panicking. It's just that this is the only thing I can't accept in Islam. I was so close to accepting all of it. I don't want to object to any part of it but damn my heart just can't accept this.
I also apologize in advance if I didn't reply right away or ever I'm having problems with the language and shyness and and...
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from Islam https://ift.tt/TYEKMW5
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