This is a long story but I would really appreciate it if you read it and advice me on how to go about this situation.
So there is this girl I have had a massive crush on for 4 years now. It all started in school when I used to see her everyday after school. I found her very cute and charming so I asked one of my friends to talk to her friends and ask for her name. A few days after I first saw her, she stopped coming to school. It was odd and unsettling. I got to know that she left the school and moved back home (same city as mine). I was sad but didn’t give much attention to it since I had exams and other stuff coming up. A few years passed and I used to think about her every now and then, thinking I would never be able to get in touch with her (in a halal way of course).
But about 8 months back (I was in uni now), I thought I would regret not making any efforts to get to her so I got to work and after talking to a few mutuals I came in contact with her best friend from school. I still didn’t want to talk to my crush directly because I thought it would be bad and I didn’t want to risk getting into a haram relationship. I felt talking to her friend for this purpose was still fine as my intentions were genuine. I told her friend everything, about how I felt and stuff. She told me that she was still in contact with the girl I liked and I felt a sense of relief. I talked to her friend for a while and got to know more and more about my crush. Her friend was kind and understanding enough to help me out. She even gave me her contact but I never talked to her directly (again, didn’t want a haram relationship). I felt an even stronger connection and decided I would ask for her hand in marriage a few years down the line, whenever I became financially stable and independent (which could take a minimum of 2-3 years from now). I wanted to tell my parents about it but I was scared and thought telling them after I had completed my studies and got my work career started would be the better option, and it is. I cannot tell them right now. I also learned that she used to get a lot of proposals for marriage but her mom used to keep rejecting them (she hasn’t even completed school yet btw). The friend told her about me and about how I felt and she was slightly interested as well after knowing I had waited for 4 years and was willing to wait for longer. I was happy and content.
So what happened is few days back her friend messaged me saying she had some bad news for me. She said that there was this “super rich guy” who got recommended to her mom and apparently her mom was very interested and “so was she”. I was absolutely devastated. Her friend tried to make me feel better saying how it wasn’t meant to be, how this is Allah’s will and how Allah has someone better written for me. It could be true but I really cannot digest losing her like this. I cried a lot that night, and I haven’t been the same since I heard it. I cut off all talk with her friend too as I couldn’t put all these thoughts behind while still continuing to talk to her. I cannot think straight. It’s really messing me up right now. I have made so much dua for her, day and night. I cannot believe that it was all for nothing in the end. I cannot even eat properly, I have lost all my appetite. I’m just shattered. I am praying to Allah to give me strength but it’s just unbearable right now.
What do I do? Any help or advice (especially from the older people out there) would really be appreciated.
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