I'm ready to revert but it's like something is always holding me back (addiction)

Hello Islam. It's been a long journey coming for me and I think I am ready to revert but I feel like excuses keep holding me back.

To start, I wanted to follow Christianity. I gave it a genuine effort because I loved the story of Jesus Christ and I read the whole bible (NJKV). I don't know why I wanted to be a Christian, I think it's probably because it's what's the most accessible where I live. I never believed Jesus was God or that the trinity was "this important" element of Christianity but apparently it is. I had some debates online and in person about the trinity, it's origin, it's justification and so fourth and I felt that the deeper I dug the more truth was revealed to the point where I ended up dismantling the entire bible and seeing it for what it actually was. My intention is not to disrespect the bible or the faith but I now know why Muslims have always argued that the book had been manipulated. Every time I "denied the trinity" I would almost become ousted from Christianity and even called a Muslim (hah!).

So - I said, okay, let's see what this whole Muslim thing is all about. I started by reading the Quran (turns out, it wasn't the best translation for a beginner and so I am re reading it, slowly and objectively) and what I found was - this book is amazing. I then started watching people on Youtube - guy's like Shayth, Mufti, 3 Muslim's and then some reverts like myself such as Bobby's Perspective or The Tate's people, I especially liked listening to Sartorial Shooter.

I can say, I am now sold on Islam.
I no longer have a strong belief in Christianity, at all.
I really, really want to take my Shahada... but....

I don't know when I'll be ready or even capable of devoting myself entirely to Islam.

I am struggling with alcoholism and as much as I want to "quit cold turkey" it literally never works and I likely need both medical intervention and / or rehab. It's not massive alcoholism but it's every single day drinking beers alcoholism. I've tried to justify to myself that " as long as it's not from grapes or dates " and " I don't pray while LITERALLY intoxicated " then it should be okay - but I know that I need to change my ways truthfully.

Should I try to conquer these demons before I revert?

submitted by /u/illbully
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