I grew up in a muslim household with abusive parents. My parents would beat us or engage in severe. I was around 10-12 in age when this went on. My parents would never talk about the goodness in Islam, only the things that would frighten me as a child.
This made me dislike the faith and turn away from it, despite the fact that I believed in Allah (SWT). I struggled with depression, anxiety, eating disorder and even a suicide attempt. I was struggling really bad and felt that I had been forgotten or abandoned.
But now that I have moved away from my family I find myself making duas and trying to return to my old islamic ways. I truly feel like I believe in Allah (SWT) and I’m ready to return to my religion. But I’m scared. Scared of failure, disappointed and to face judgement.
Will I never be able to undo my mistake of leaving? Will I ever get another chance at forgiveness? What is the consequence of leaving and returning?
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