Hey so, as I said in the title, I have just recently converted to Islam and this means changing a bunch of things in my daily life which... I don't really know how to deal with them. Sorry if this is a long post. I'll appreciate any help even if you don't answer all of the doubts.
A quick background on me so you kinda know where I'm coming from and what's my situation: Spanish 18M, Student, living with my family who isn't too fond about Islam, Muslims, and kinda has a lot of stereotypes against them, they've shown physical violence against me multiple times as a kid so debating with them about Islam is out of the question. Oh, they also definitely don't want me going to Islam, I had a talk some time ago with my mother about what religion I was following and she only specified that "please just tell me you're not one of those Muslims"... And here we are now
–For starters, a few of my doubts has to do with haram foods. I know that meat (as long as it isn't pork) has to come from animals slaughtered according to the Islamic Rule, but here in Spain I have never ever seen a single product in any store in any place of my city with the label saying that the product is halal so when it comes to eating meat —which we do almost every day even in small quantities— I can't just go and stop eating any meat as my parents would be quick to realise and ask what was wrong with me. I read some weeks ago saying to use the excuse of wanting a vegan/vegetarian diet or a fish diet, but fish is insanely expensive in my city and my parents think of vegans and vegetarians as idiots/retards... My mother a bunch of times might also cook some desserts which so happen to be using gelatine made from pork and she knows I love those desserts so again, just refusing to eat it would definitely end up in a big debate in the long run. And similar to cooking pork meat, my parents may sometimes cook pork on a pan and use that same pan to cook other meat, and then we eat all of that for dinner, so it technically all becomes haram and I should just not eat it at all... What can I do with this? I really don't mind having to ask for forgiveness or repent, but Is just impossible for me to open to my parents as a Muslim, because they don't... they don't really like muslims at all.
–On the other hand, with Christmas ever slowly approaching, songs are gonna be played everywhere, alcohol will be all around the place and it's very probable I'm forced to drink alcohol —though just a bit— for new years eve with my family. So I also have to deal with these, I will definitely try to reject any alcohol because even my mother knows I've been against any kind of drug usage for years, and that includes alcohol. But if it did happen that I was forced to, could I, the same way that with the haram foods, ask for forgiveness from the deepest of my heart despite having drank a haram liquid?
–And just in general a bit now, on the daily life of a Muslim. How do you deal with haram acts from people you see in your daily routine or people doing or wearing things that are forbidden? Like seeing a woman wearing revealing clothing or attending class with other female students ( when according to what I have heard, male and female should each have its own separate group ). Note that Im usually pretty reserved and never jump on acting upon intrusive thoughts. Also how we're sometimes forced in groups to do a group project and there's a chance I might be put with 3 other girls and me being the only guy. Or also listening to music on a supermarket while shopping when it is haram to listen to music (and sometimes the music itself might cross the line multiple times because of the lyrics). How do you deal with all of this? Sins that you can't avoid "experiencing" in your daily life.
–Regarding salat and as I'm a beginner in Islam, I'm afraid I won't be able to do any salats without looking up words, phrases, and sometimes having to literally read up a whole sentence like the Tashahud in my phone because it's just impossible for me to memorize it in one go. But I also read that you cannot be distracted in any way during Salat and you must put your full attention on it, so I'm wondering if having to have these small guides on my phone would automatically cancel every single salat I'd do. Plus, I have seen so many versions of how to do salat, with so many variations, additions, claims on what is Sunnah or what is obligatory... I don't even know to actually do a correct Salat, as I've also read that performing a single wrong step is enough to cancel the whole Salat and you needing to perform it all over again.
–And lastly, how much free time am I permitted to have for myself as a Muslim? Like, time for having fun, let it be reading books about fantasy or history, playing videogames, watching videos... I've read that you can do any of these to some extent as long as it doesn't prevent you from doing basic things for the Muslim like the Salats or making you fall into haram. But I've also read you must spend all your free time as a Muslim adoring Allah(SWT) so you kinda end up not really being able to have that free time "for yourself". To what extent is all of this correct?
Thanks a lot for any help in the comments. Sorry if any phrase is badly written or you don't understand it as I'm feeling a bit sleepy now. I'll try to clear any doubts tomorrow and answer tomorrow as right now is too late for me.
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