The correct way to deal with hate crime in Islam?

Salaam all, I wanted to share two scenarios that have stuck with me for my whole life, and I want to ask, what is the correct way to deal with hate crime in Islam?

Growing up, my dad always taught me to defend myself when someone was trying to threaten me or posed danger to me. This sprung from an incident that happened when I was 14. My dad and I were waking home from someone’s house at around 9-10pm. We lived close by but had to walk past a pub where a large group of drunk men would hang about. One man would come up to us and call my dad a terrorist because he was wearing prayer hat on his head. My dad ignored him and signalled me to ignore him and walk on. The drunk man grabbed my arm forcefully and called my dad a ‘pussy’. At first my dad didn’t want to cause drama, since he was tired and wanted to get home, but I remember noticing the exact moment he saw the drunk man grab my arm from his face. My dad without hesitation punched the man clean in the nose causing him to begin bleeding and fall to the floor. When the drunk man didn’t get up, my dad grabbed my hand and began walking back home. The others in pub didn’t interfere, and went to help the drunk man, rather than try and mess with my dad. Because of this, I always tried to solve hate issues with violence. Admittedly sometimes when it is not needed.

This leads me to my second scenario. I was walking to masjid with my friends, when we saw a women in a hijab and her husband being racially abused by a large 60 years old looking man. The man was saying the typical, ‘Go back to your own country’ kind of stuff, and me and my friends were going to try and interfere. The husband of the lady in hijab, saw us and told us to not interfere and to just ignore the man. We were trying to convince him to move, but he refused and said that the best way to deal with a kafir is starve it of attention. We stood close by incase things got violent and watched. Eventually the Muslim couple walked away and straight up ignored the things the old man was saying. When they left, my friends and I were tempted to bash the old man, but decided against it since we were going to jummah and didn’t want to re-escalate the situation.

So clearly both ways kind of worked. Except one ended with the racist man thinking he had won, and the other ended with a bloody nose. So I ask, is violence necessary and if not can it be justified?

Thanks in advance for sharing your thoughts, I look forward to reading them. Jazakallah

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