Asalamualykum, just as the title says, should I just move on from trying to find a muslim wife? I've been searching for almost 10 years, with no luck. My two younger brothers have also been searching for themselves, with no luck. A vast majority of my friends are in the same boat, approaching 30 while still single.
I am coming to the realization that Muslim women simply no longer care about getting married, raising a family, etc. They seem to focus on education and career over everything else, and this is why we have the Muslim marriage crisis in our ummah today. My parents were just telling me that the same thing is happening back home in the Arab countries, all our male cousins and friends are single because the sisters are just not interested anymore. My parents also made mention of the fact that we've only attended one wedding in the past 8 years, while in the past (before this feminism movement), you would have weddings every year. This is also evident when browsing the various apps. The male to female ratio is like 75% male, 25% female, (maybe even worse) and it's so difficult to even talk to someone because of the competition. I pay money to send messages to the sisters almost every single day, and I never hear back, because I am most likely competing with thousands of other messages. Assuming you get past the competition, you now have to deal with the crazy requirements/demands that are being asked for. I sometimes wonder if they put these requirements because they are secretly not interested in marriage, they just want to tell their families that they are "trying" by being on the apps.
I will never give up on making dua and trusting Allah, but it is just so discouraging seeing myself and everyone I know around me lonely and depressed with the lack of companionship. The sisters may not need companionship in their lives (From what I've seen, if they do, they simply get a cat or two), but men are different, this is just how Allah created us. This is so frustrating when you've stayed pure and distanced yourself from the opposite sex your entire life, waiting for marriage.
So yeah, I'm at the point where I am considering the unthinkable, and that is just finding a non-Muslim wife. This is something that my parents would have disowned me for if I brought up the idea 5 years ago, but now when I mention it to them, they are more understanding. Do I want to deal with potentially having pork and/or alcohol in the house? Arguing over how to raise the kids? Knowing that my wife would potentially not enter Jannah with me? Of course not, this is why I never considered marrying a non-Muslim. But do I really want to stay single and lonely my entire life, or worse, fall into a major sin because of this? From what I see, while Muslim women no longer want to get married because of different priorities, non-Muslim women are better able to balance things, so they still seek relationships while pursing an education/career. I also wouldn't have to worry about the ridiculous dowries, "Your money is my money, but my money is mine", and the rest of the various "rights" arguments that I keep hearing from the different genders. Just to expand my horizons, I downloaded some of the non-muslim apps for a day, with the intentions of seeing if there were any muslims on there, but also because I was curious to see how non-muslims conduct themselves. I was shocked with what I saw, almost every girl had a complete profile with well written stuff about them, with good pictures. They actually put effort in their profile. There is even a section where the girls could put there desires for having a family in the future, and although I was only on there for a few hours, almost all of them actually wanted companionship, children, and family. Again, this is the complete opposite from what I see with the sisters from the masjid or the apps.
I feel so sad that I have gotten to this point, because this is the kind of stuff our prophet has warned us about in the end times. Living in a Dajaal society, and the feminism movement is at the core of this Dajaal society, destroying this ummah. I do not know the exact hadith, but I feel like I remember reading something where our Prophet (PBUH) fears the day that our ummah is going to be struggling to get married, and we have this Muslim marriage crisis on our hands right now. I apologize for the long rant, any advice is appreciated, and I am curious to hear people's thought on just settling for a non-Muslim.
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