A few months ago, I made a post here saying that my parents disowned me. I guess that explains why I hate them, but I do not want to hate them for the sake of Allah. What can I do?
I want to forgive them, but I see that they do not even admit their mistakes, let alone try to improve themselves. More than anything, it is my memories that make me hate them. Even recalling slight moments of how my condition was like makes me lose control over myself, I get madly angry and sad at the same time. Usually, the anger part comes when I recall the way my parents treated me and the way they continue to treat me. They always brag about how their parents treated them and how they are the greatest parents in the world, yet they are such. They pushed me into this pain & suffering and abandoned me when I begged them to help me. Yes, "beg" is the word I would use, I used to cry in front of them as I was helpless, but they never even showed that they cared, they just continued to curse me more and more instead
My mother once fell sick and went unconscious, no one even cared for her and I was the only one who noticed her and took care of her, and this is how they paid me back? Honestly, deep inside me sometimes I think that my hate for them is justified, I want to watch them suffer in the same way as I did. The only reason that I want to change my ways is for the sake of Allah.
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