Some thoughts about converting...

I have been a convert for several years now, and I must say that it overall has been an amazing experience. Islam has made so much of what I am and what I plan to be in the future. I have met amazing people and learned amazing things. It has changed my perspective of the world and made me a better person.

However, I must say that there are many things that as a Muslim community we need to change and address regarding our treatment of converts:

1. We are treated as a number or a statistic to boast about. As if we validate other muslims' way of life and beliefs: don't put that burden on us, find your own arguments and meaning, don't use our numbers as an argument to win debates or boast about.

2. The "scripted dawah" given to non Muslims and those thinking about converting can feel impersonal and condescending: my deep questions got pre-fabricated answers that got me nothing when it was time for discerning and deciding. I have heard from others that with the rise if the internet it has gotten worse. People's questions get answered with a YouTube link that is impersonal or doesn't even address the specific question or worry that the person may have. We are all different and deserve a little nuance.

3. At least in my case, my shahada felt transactional and "cold": it was basically paperwork, say the words, sign here, and go take a shower, congratulations and come in a few days for your certificate. I have been treated with more warmth at the passports office in my country.

4. There is no follow up or barely any: I was sent off with a "starter kit" with a book teaching me how to pray and an XXL t-shirt for men from the dawah organization where I took my shahada. I don't want to sound entitled, but if you're going to give difts, at least be thoughtful about them, also no one ever called me, messaged me, or even enquired about how I was doing. Then in my local mosque I expressed my concerns about Ramadan and how I felt it was gonna be hard, the only answers I got were "it's easy" and "you'll be fine", spoiler alert, I wasn't, it was terrible.

5. The marriage situation: fortunately for me I have decided to remain single so I haven't gone through this personally, but I know of other converts that have suffered. Many of the sisters get preyed upon by guys that are desperate to legalise their migration situation, this happens in front of the whole community and no one, not even the imams call those guys out for their behaviour. Additionally, both brothers and sisters get rejected on a regular basis by families for not being Arab, or Pakistani, or Bangladeshi, and so on.

Of course everyone has a different life experience, but at the same time my story is not uncommon. The base of the problem is that we are mostly seen as a "conquest" by a big group of Muslims, then we are forgotten or even dismissed. If there were statistics on who converts and stays long term in the religion, perhaps we could have a better picture of the state of our ummah.

submitted by /u/musulmana
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