Salam alaikum, I am a revert alhumdulillah, reverted in 2013. So I no longer consider myself a "baby muslim". But I really didn't put much effort into learning the religion up until this past year. I saw myself falling back into bad habits that I knew weren't good for my iman in the long run. Alhumdulillah I am refocusing on tafsir, aqeedah, fiqh, and trying to surround myself with as many good islamic influences as I can. In general alhumdulillah mentally/spiritually I feel better.
But I don't cry thinking of my past sins. I know I should feel guilty, and remorseful. I feel guilty for not feeling guilty. But I see my husband masha'Allah, who cries when thinking of us delaying a prayer, and how we don't show Allah swt how grateful we are. I constantly make dua to soften my heart, to increase my knowledge, but I honestly feel numb. Has anyone else gone from not practicing to practicing and felt that? In sha Allah the more I learn the more remembrance of Allah swt I will have, which will soften my heart.
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