I have been going through alot honestly, everyone I trusted betrayed, used, left me yet in the end I apologize because no matter what I always forgive everyone and I apologize because some way or other something might've hurt them and I don't wanna die like this, but this constant betrayal and ppl always leaving me, and a chilhood trauma(rape) has me feeling completed devastated. I am in severe depression, I cry every night, every day, I feel sadness all the time, Naozubillah I've gotten several sucidal thoughts but Allah's hope keeps me to survive, and I don't talk to anyone, because I'm afraid of hurting ppl, I'm pushing ppl away from me. I've neglected myself sooo much, I feel detached from everything, nothing feels interesting. I haven't showered since a month, neither have i brushed my hair. I keep having mental breakdowns daily. I don't feel like eating anything, i can't fall asleep. I feel ugly , tired and embarassed of myself, this all has affected even my prayers, I don't pray anymore which makes me v.sad, but I've just lost hope, everything feels a burden. I want help pls, I wanna pray again, and If there's any duas, advice or something, pls help me.Also pls someone tell me sabr is really fruitful right?, like If Allah gives us someone and he takess him away, only he can return him so we should have tawakkul and patience, I just keep making duas, I used to pray too even tahujjud, but idk now what's happened. I have full faith Allah will return him IA, be it not now but later somehow, I wanna be get married to him. Ik there's this one very strong belief in my heart but many ppl say once gone won't return, but I say Only Allah guides us to make duas too, and duas change destiny, And nothing is impossible, rightt?? so should I keep making dua or forget everything, PLS HELP ME.
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from Islam https://ift.tt/3yQpiWF
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