Raising Muslim step-child as a Christian father

Hi everyone:

I hope this question is appropriate for this forum and that I can get opinions from other Muslims. I'll try to keep this as succinct as possible!

I'm Christian. About 8 years ago I married a Muslim woman that had a 3 year old daughter from a previous marriage. At the time we married she was not a devoutly practicing Muslim. I raised the child as my own daughter and loved her incredibly through the years. As my relationship with my wife grew, so did her faith in the religion and she began to practice and read more into the faith. This ultimately led to our separation as her faith grew and she understood that she could not be with a non-Muslim man. We separated after 4-5 years.

After the separation, I continued to be the sole father figure for my (step) daughter. I visited her frequently, took her on road trips and played the father figure, regardless of a lack of a biological connection. I stayed amicable with my ex-wife and still considered her family, my family. My daughter saw that we still had a healthy, amicable relationship and I truly believe this helped her grow into a resilient girl.

Eventually, a couple of years after our separation and ultimately divorce, my ex-wife remarried. This led to her moving to another part of the country with our daughter, 3-4 months ago. It was upsetting but I accepted it because I was assured that my daughter would come to visit a couple of times of the year and I envisioned myself flying out to visit as well.

Now, this is where things change drastically. My daughter is scheduled to come back here very soon to visit family (ie. uncles, grandparents) and myself for a couple of months. But her mother has now told me that, after lots of thought, she doesn't want my daughter calling me her father anymore. She claims that in Islam, it is not permitted because we're not related by blood and because I'm not Muslim so it's not appropriate. She says that she's known this for a while but didn't know how to tell me and she wants to ensure she's raising her to follow all the rules in Islam and not being influenced by my non-halal life style (I don't have any horrible vices but it's just different than her mother's lifestyle).

I have a hard time accepting this. I understand that faith, for many, will trump anything else in life. But I don't understand how this can outweigh removing my daughter's father for the past 8 of her 11 years of life. I want to collect your thoughts on this matter. I'm desperate at this point and hoping for a solution.. if there's any questions to clarify any details, please let me know.

Other details that may or may not matter:

I was never able to legally adopt my daughter for reasons beyond our control.

I'm positive this was all my ex-wife's thinking and religious research and there was no other influence.

Thanks for reading... hoping there's a something in the Qur'an that allows it so that no one is hurt in this scenario.

submitted by /u/hecky89
[link] [comments]

from Islam https://ift.tt/3xkeE9I