Salam,

I don't know where to really put this but I'll put it here and outline what has happened and some history.

I was in a haram relationship (by choice) with someone else. We haven't seen each other in person and spoke about things I regret. Multiple times I had a voice in my head telling me to leave them and return to Allah swt. I heeded not the voice and delved deeper into my own degeneration. By the end of it I had become someone who was ill mannered, sexually aggressive through text, and objectifying.

Before all was said and done I apologized to a lengthy extent, however there was neither confirmation or denial of an acceptance of forgiveness. This whole time has been me thinking about wanting to text them again and again to beg for forgiveness.

I know I had wronged them and it does pain me and its their choice to forgive me or not but how do I cope with this guilt while also turning back to Allah without another voice telling me "I'm a hypocrite". Where do I go from here.

I have faith in Allah's plan, right now I am just disillusioned and need some words.

Salam. Wa barakallahu feekum

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