I always knew that after major impurity, I needed to perform ghusl in which I needed to wash my entire body. However I did not know the specifics with regards to how to wash the hair.
4 years ago I used to straighten my hair, and so when I went to do ghusl in order to keep my hairstyle intact I used to just pour 3 handfuls of water on my head, without letting the water fully reach the scalp. About a year later I stopped straightening my hair when I started losing hair, and since then I used to only wet my hair without letting it reach the roots, even though no one informed me that I needed to fully wash my head, I still was in doubt about what I was doing was wrong but I still persisted in it.
Fast forward to about 2 years ago, I read on islamqa that water needed to fully wet the scalp during wudu, so I started using a spray bottle to spray water directly into my roots so that I could wet my scalp without messing up my actual hair, as I thought that was good enough to satisfy ghusl. Just recently I found out that water needed to fully wet my hair AND my scalp, and for about 6 months now I've been doing ghusl properly, but I'm scared of being punished on the day of judgement for the past 4 years of invalid purity which means all my prayers and fasting were not accepted. Since I realized my ghusl was improper, I've started to slowly makeup my invalid prayers by making up an extra prayer after each prayer, but I don't know if that is sufficient to pay back the debt I owe to Allah or if it is even possible to compensate at all for those years, and even though I've repented sincerely and am trying my best to makeup the 4 years of invalid prayers, I am losing sleep and am constantly in a state of extreme anxiety during the day which prevents me from being able to focus on anything.
Is there any way to know that Allah will forgive me for my past negligence? Will I still be punished in the grave/jahannam for all the years of invalid prayers and fasting? Please I am desperate, I physically cannot function due to this constant stress and fear.
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from Islam https://ift.tt/2LDrcGQ
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