I want to start by saying I have great parents, Alhumdollilah. They've raised my and my siblings well to the best they can and have given us everything that we've ever needed. However, they've always been very protective and overbearing and I guess my siblings and I never fought back on it because we were just used to it. Was it annoying? Sure but we were also young and didn't see the point in rebelling or doing anything. For example, I wasn't allowed to go out with my friends alone to a mall till I was like 15-16.
My parents sent my siblings and I to university in the US. My siblings all lived together for the years we went to college. My parents lived in another country. We all grew to be independent, do our own things, have our own lives, and basically spent our adult years, 18+ without our parents. Now, since the 2 years, my parents moved to a different state to us siblings. And when quarantine happened, we all moved under one roof.
Now, we are just constantly arguing with our parents. Even when our parents are clearly in the wrong, they make us feel like we're horrible people for bringing it up. They ask for us to have open communication with them, but when we try to voice our opinions, it just leads to constant arguments. My siblings and I don't have huge egos so we always apologize, even if we know we weren't in the wrong. We know islamically the importance of parents.
My question is how do people deal with these types of arguments? How do you try to make your parents understand your side without them getting defensive or argumentative? How do you keep yourself calm?
Before comments, I would just like to reiterate, that I don't have toxic parents, it is not an abusive household. They don't swear at us, they don't say anything that is abusive. It is just they get very defensive or they raise their voices, which just make us siblings feel apprehensive to tell them anything or say anything back. I know talking back is frowned upon but I just want to know how to open dialogue without having to worry about hurting them or being scared to tell them.
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