hello brothers and sisters, am a 21 yo old male. i realy dont know if i have lost faith or not, i never drunk alcohole and very rarely smoked, and am still a virgin. during my 1.5 years in malaysia, living away from my familly, i slowly stoped praying, not because i dont have time and not because i lost faith, i actually dont know why, i just stopped. but, every thing else i do i mention Allah, always say bismillah before anything i do, say dua, and recite quran. but prayin wasn't realy on my mind. i think it's some mental issues am having since am away from my family.
well, now am finally back to my familly, and things are a bit weird since my parents don't see me pray. my mom often yells at me for not praying and i say "inshallah i will go back to praying mom, may allah give me hidaya and may allah forgive me", but i dont. today is jumua and my father wanted me to go to jumua prayer, and i didn't
what i want to say is, is it ok to pray just because you're forced to? i mean what's the point of prayer if you dont have the neya? sometimes i pray just because my parents told me not because of my love to allah.
i want to go back to praying, but i want it to be in full خشوع and iman. not because my parents told me.
also, one more thing, i know that the secret habit (masturbation) is a very big problem in our generation, and i have been trying for years to stop it, and i feel that the end of it is very near. i feel like if i commit to stopping this habit, i will be able to commit to whatever i want even salat. i know that(الصلات تنهى عن الفحشاء والمنكر), but when i was about 16-17 yo i used to pray without tohor. and that's one of the reasons i stoped praying.
if you read through all of this, thanks. please feel free to criticise me. and please give me advice on what i should tell my parents, or what i should do. and inshalah this is my first step to getting back to praying.
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