Assalamu alaykum brothers and sisters. This question is geared towards brothers. I recently separated from my husband. We have a small child. We had problems but they always stemmed from his past which I couldn't accept and overcome. He grew in a Muslim country (Morocco) and had a gf for 3 years in Europe. I had accepted him for marriage, which may have been a hasty choice, but he had repented etc and was on a good track. I had fully saved myself for marriage and my husband and kept away from boys although I grew up in a Western country and was surrounded by relationship/sex culture. Our separation came about with many reasons but a huge one was finding out that he slept with prostitutes in the past. I was devastated, and I am still. We were very adamant about the divorce, with so many problems and bad fights, and some time has passed, and due to our child we do have to communicate over text. We are still in the separated phase and sometimes I do reconsider him, for the sake of our family, and we did have good times together, and I get the impression he feels the same. He didn't want the divorce but also supported it and contributed a lot to it, and didn't fight against it. Anyway, when I do reconsider, I remember these past things, and knowing he had haram sex with other women really disturbs me. That he could have been such a man that I never respected, who could give in to such debauched desires and do the unthinkable, while being a Muslim especially. This haunts my life when I think of him and I don't know who to ask. I know I can pray to try to get over it, but is it worth it? To be with someone who was so contrary to your values? It just feels so unfair, that I never was with anyone else, basically watched from outside everyone having relationships and waited for my husband, and then ended up with this kind of situation. Anyway I say Alhamdulillah, but how can I move forward? What do I need? Jazakumallahu khair. I want to add that Islamically he is much better now and regrets his past deeply, I guess, and he was very good in many other ways. But can someone like me really forget and get over this stuff?
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