As-salāmu ʿalaykum. I'm currently dealing with a family matter that I would like to hear your opinions on.
For pretext, my wife is half Pakistani half Chinese, and does not practice Islam.
I am Chinese, born in North America to 1st Gen immigrant parents from Hong Kong (they went to college here so they're generally open minded).
My son is turning 1 years old and we're planning a birthday party for him, with the intention of inviting the Pakistani side of the family.
Since my parents are hosting and paying for the party, they wish to observe Chinese tradition where roast pork is fed to the birthday boy. To be mindful of our Pakistani family, they have offered to put the pork separate from the other food which will have no pork in it.
My wife feels that this is disrespectful, and that pork should be omitted from the meal to accommodate the Pakistani side.
I do agree with her in this, especially since the dish is mostly symbolic. It bears cultural importance in terms of tradition, but i don't feel it carries the same weight as religious observance.
My family is usually very willing to accommodate other religions and customs but they won't budge on this for some odd reason. As my grandmother explains it, they feel as if they're respecting Islam by separating the pork from the rest of the food.
I've offered an alternative, which is to feed our son the pork before the Pakistani family arrives. My wife has outright rejected this solution, as she doesn't feel the dish itself is necessary.
I'm stuck between both sides because I can agree and empathize with either position.
Can someone tell me if my family is being disrespectful or not?
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