I come from parents that were immigrants from another country. I wholly identify with their culture, but at the same time the culture I was mostly essentially exposed to is the culture here in the United States. I feel that there is a internal difference within me that makes me want to have someone exactly like me. Someone who associates with my culture and also has the interests I like that is only really relevant here in the United States (art, drawing, photography, etc). I have trouble making friends and feel really apathetic doing so. I can't say I have had a irl "best friend" for most of my life (I'm 22 for reference). If I make friends with someone who does not know my religion and culture but involves themselves in the hobbies I mentioned, I feel that something is missing and I cannot connect to them. If I try to make friends with someone who is Muslim but does not involve themselves in the interests I have, I cannot really connect with them either. Since I live in the United States, finding someone who involves themselves in both things (religion and hobbies) is really hard to come by. Especially when the majority of the population here is non-Muslim, having such a combo of cultural associations and interests is rare.
There are sayings of the Prophet Muhammad and the Imams that say that having pious friends keeps one successful and keeps them away from doing bad things in case that the friends do bad things. I feel that having the majority of my friends be non-Muslim could make me stray from being pious due to their potential life style. At the same time, I cannot really connect to Muslims in terms of strong friendship as most of them do not share the hobbies I am interested in.
You may say going to the mosque is a solution, but the mosque that I go to is a bit far. Not only that, when I do go. The people there are much older than me and I cannot relate to them due to the age difference. I'm not really sociable either as I'm a bit shy when it comes to talking, but the community there is very welcoming. The sheikh there really made me feel at home and introduced me to EVERYONE in the mosque during Friday prayers. I really do want to thank him for that as no one has offered to do that for me previously in a mosque. Though despite that, I just feel having friends my age at the mosque that I can associate with in terms of my goals and religion wise is very hard. For reference, I am Shia and finding someone Shia in my area is hard to be very hard to come by within itself. All the mosques in my neighborhood are Sunni, and if I were to pray the way I want to in the mosque closest to me. They would get upset telling from the experiences I see from other Shia in my area who have tried to pray at those mosques. I have to go to downtown if I want to pray as that is the closest Shia mosque near me, and that itself is hard if you include the sleep disorder I have and motivation issues stemming from mental health issues. (I have been depression free for many years alhamduillah, it's just motivation issues that still linger which can also be associated with my ADHD.)
Let's say I do find someone that is Sunni, is pious and has my interests. The fact that I am Shia alone could make them turn away from me. After coming out as Shia to my family (my family is Sunni) a few months back, my mother has stopped talking to me 3 months ago. She still does not talk to me to this day despite living in the same house with her. If I get this backlash with my own family, imagine going to a Sunni mosque and not being able to express the way how I want to be? I'm totally fine being friends with someone who is Sunni, but I feel that a Sunni who identifies themselves as pious might not want to associate with someone that is Shia.
I have all these factors that makes me hard to relate to the people around me. If I want to make friends with someone non-Muslim, their lifestyle turns me away. If I try to make friends with someone that is Muslim but does not share my hobbies, it is very hard to relate to that person. Not to mention the people I look up to at the mosque are much older than me and makes me hard to relate to them as friends.
Marriage is out of the question as I really do not have attraction for other women (I identify as aromantic and asexual) and have never really felt okay with being in a romantic/sexual relationship.
I feel that for me to be really be connected to someone, they have to essentially have these four things:
- Be Muslim
- Be Shia
- Have the hobbies that I have.
- Be around my age.
Am I just being picky when making friends? I feel that this is an issue that young people face when they come from immigrants who come from overseas to the United States, especially with religion being a factor. The ability to relate and create friendships with people that have both religion and the interests I have is difficult to come by in my experience.
What advice or recommendations could you give me?
[link] [comments]
from Islam https://ift.tt/35YYBkw
Post A Comment:
0 comments so far,add yours