This is long, TL:DR at the bottom. I am the second oldest child of 5 and moved out to my own place a couple months ago. I'm the only girl. I help out my family with expenses because they are not able to afford it on their own. Between my income, my parents and my brother who also works, we make enough to cover bills and have some left over for discretionary spending.
Unfortunately my family is absolutely terrible at managing finances and they always put me in a position where I have to come to their rescue and pay their bills because they have spent all their money on shopping, fast food, video games and other low priority things. This has been going on for years and I have run out of things to do.
I've tried sitting my parents and adult siblings down and explaining why we can't continue spending recklessly, I've tried making a budget for them multiple times, and we even took financial literacy classes as a family. And still the terrible spending habits continue and I feel trapped. I graduated last year and am working full-time professionally and yet I still live paycheck to paycheck because I am constantly helping my family with their money problems. I am unable to save or do anything for myself because I am literally their human ATM. I have refused to help them in the past but this has only gotten them into deeper troubles (they took out loans and credit cards which are still not paid back) and has negatively affected my younger siblings who have no control over what my parents do.
To make matters worse, whenever I bring up the bad spending habits and tell them I'm not giving them money, my father pressures me with ayah about obeying parents and basically emotionally blackmails me into it. He also brings up the whole "I am your parent and you and your money belong to me" thing which is apparently a hadith. He refuses to see how he is keeping us in this bad situation. My brother is the exact same way. Makes terrible financial choices and then guilt trips me into giving him money or worse, gives me ultimatums. My family is in a lot of debt, I'm talking over 100k total. Also family has no retirement savings and no savings in general. I am aware of this and really want to start building wealth but I can't because they won't cooperate. I don't know what to do. I think I'm going to be poor forever.
I know some people will tell me to post on r/personalfinance but I've seen threads similar to mine and the usual advice is to completely distance one's self from family because they are beyond help. But we are Muslim and I can't just cut ties with my family. So what are my options, Islamically? Is it true that I have an Islamic obligation to continue giving money to my family despite their reckless spending? Do parents really own their children's wealth?
I've considered talking to a sheikh but our local sheikh has beef with my parents and I'm not about to tell him their business. So that's not an option. Idk I just feel trapped and like no matter what I do, I will never be financially stable because I am constantly being pulled down by my family. Any advice is appreciated.
TL;DR: Family is in major debt, have no savings and spend recklessly then expect me to give them money. Has been going on for years despite attempts to fix. I'm trapped in a cycle of financial abuse, need islamic advice
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