Assalamualaikum,
I matched with a woman who is a revert, and we’ve been connecting really well. We’ve also met in person and have been mindful of keeping things halal and maintaining physical boundaries. We’re both approaching this with marriage in mind.

Her family is Christian, and she doesn’t currently have a wali. We’re unsure how to arrange that and what the process of getting to know each other should look like in the meantime.

I also haven’t spoken to my parents yet. They’ve rejected potential matches in the past, so I’m honestly afraid of going through that again. I want to take responsibility for my marriage decisions while treating my parents respectfully and taking their concerns seriously.

I spoke to my local imam, who offered to contact her local imam to make appropriate background inquiries and help guide the process. Is this shady or should I ask her permission first?

Has anyone navigated something similar, especially marriage involving a revert without Muslim family members? How did you arrange a wali, manage communication before nikah, and involve hesitant parents?

We’re starting to feel attached, so we want to establish a proper process before that grows further. I’d appreciate practical advice, especially from people who have been through this.

Jazakum Allahu khayran.

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