I’ve been struggling for about 3 months now and I’m honestly scared.
I feel like I’m slowly losing my iman. Nothing feels right anymore. It’s like everything is going wrong at the same time. My deen, my health, my job, university, money, sleep… everything.
I still try to pray and have sabr but deep down I keep getting thoughts that maybe religion isn’t real or that it’s not helping. I hate those thoughts and I don’t want to believe them but they keep coming back! I’m scared that this means I’m leaving Islam or becoming a disbeliever.
I know life is a test, and I know Allah tests people! I really do believe that but this just feels so hard. What doesn’t make sense to me is why I would be tested in a way where I feel like I’m suffering all the time and can’t even take my university or my religion seriously anymore? That’s what scares me the most because those feelings are making me fall deeper and deeper.
I also feel like Allah is punishing me because I haven’t taken my deen or university seriously enough. I don’t even know if that’s true but that’s how it feels. My heart just feels empty.
I have almost no motivation to pray anymore even though I want to. Everything feels wrong inside me and I feel like I’m suffering every single day.
Has anyone been through something like this? How did you deal with it? I really don’t want to lose my faith!
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