Feeling spiritually isolated in my own family & struggling with loneliness.

Assalamu Alaikum everyone,

I am writing this with a heavy but hopeful heart. I am a young Muslimah currently going through a very difficult phase of spiritual isolation and loneliness, and I desperately need some advice or just to know that I am not alone.

My Situation: I recently returned to Islam (Alhamdulillah) and started praying my 5 daily prayers. However, I am the only one in my immediate family who practices. My parents and sister do not pray, and unfortunately, their main daily conversations revolve around backbiting (Ghibah), judging others, and speaking ill of people. It breaks my heart every day. I feel like an intruder in my own home, unable to share my spiritual joy or struggles with them.

A few weeks ago, I met a brother online who helped me open my eyes to the beauty of Islam. We had deep, respectful conversations about the Prophet (peace be upon him) and our faith. He was the first person I could talk to about Deen without being judged. We both had serious intentions regarding marriage, and he seemed to share my values (wanting to marry young, work hard, etc.).

However, a few days ago, he went silent. He mentioned he was sick and needed space. I tried to send him messages but no answer it was like he was ghosting me so I performed Istikhara and felt a sense of peace, but my heart is still anxious due to the silence. To protect my mental health and stop the anxiety of waiting for a message, I made the difficult decision to delete him completely. I want to rely solely on Allah and stand on my own feet.

Now, I feel incredibly lonely. Seeing my family’s behavior contrasts so sharply with the respectful connection I had, and it makes me wonder: "Why did Allah give me a taste of this beautiful companionship only to take it away?"

I am torn between:
-Trusting that this silence is a test or a protection from Allah.

-The fear that I might be left alone in this environment forever.

-Wondering if I made the right choice by cutting off contact completely to save my peace.

Has anyone here experienced being the only practicing Muslim in their family? How do you cope with the loneliness and the pain of seeing your loved ones engage in sins like backbiting and not paying ? Also, for those who have experienced a similar situation with a loved one someone you had grown attached to who suddenly stopped reaching out: How did you handle the waiting? Did you find peace of mind by cutting off all contact?

I am seeking spiritual strength and advice, and I want to remind myself that Allah is sufficient for me. Any counsel or supplication (Dua) would be invaluable to me.

Jazakum Allahu Khayran.

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