Dear brothers and sisters,
I am a 20-year-old Muslim currently suffering from intense Waswasa.
In my family, many struggle with OCD. I personally have never been diagnosed or sought therapy. Why? I’m not sure. Perhaps I’ve been hesitant because I want to rely solely on Allah to heal me.
My Waswasa has become so severe at times that it affects my daily life. I struggle to sleep or think clearly. It is an immense burden, and as a result, I feel my Iman weakening. Every small incident triggers a spiral of anxiety.
For example, I recently created a GMX email account for newsletters, using fake details because I wanted to stay private. A test subscription was accidentally started, which I cancelled within minutes. For most people, this would be the end of it. But my brain immediately starts creating "What if?" scenarios: "What if I get into legal trouble because of the fake details?" "What if, even after deleting the account, I start receiving bills for payments I never made?"
The truth is, there was no invoice because it was a free trial month, and using a pseudonym is not illegal. I know this logically, yet my mind keeps racing. Why does my brain do this?
My parents tell me I must learn to fear only Allah, and I truly try to do that. But the scenarios Shaitan plants in my mind keep me from finding peace. This fear is consuming me. I was never a person who worried about such trivial things. When I talk to my mother about my worries, she tells me: "It won’t happen! By Allah’s will, it won’t happen! Just trust in Him."
I admire how calm and peaceful she moves through life. Her trials are often greater than mine, yet she never lets fear take over. Her Tawakkul is immense.
How can I reach that state? How do I stop overthinking and questioning every single action? How do I stop fearing things that haven’t even happened and most likely never will? Any advice or Dua would be greatly appreciated.
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