I’m really struggling with something and I don’t know if anyone has experienced something similar. I’ve been heartbroken over someone I cared for deeply. Shamed to say I didnt use to pray regularly but I did once for just general guidance. Everything was good but we were also getting into deep waters and it was only to get worse if we continued. Things ended abruptly, he pulled away, acted avoidant, lied about things, and eventually blocked me. Logically, everything says “move on,” and I know the relationship wasn’t healthy. It wasn’t long, but the emotional intensity was high.
Here’s where I’m confused:
Even after everything, I still feel something in my heart, not the urge to chase him, but this strange feeling that I’m supposed to pray for him. I’ve already made du’a for my heartbreak to be lifted, and subhanAllah, I genuinely feel like Allah answered that part. I don’t feel the same pain I used to.
But I’ve also been making another du’a every single day: “Ya Allah, if he is good for my deen, my future, and my akhira, then soften his heart and bring us closer together. And if he is not good for me, then replace him with something better.”
I say that because I want to trust Allah’s plan, not my own desires.
At the same time… something in my heart still tells me to pray for him specifically. To make du’a that Allah softens his heart. To hold hope. I don’t know if this is intuition, or if it’s just attachment disguised as spirituality.
I’ve prayed Istikhara twice already — not asking “Ya Allah, make him mine,” but asking: “Ya Allah, show me if this feeling is real guidance or just delusion. Give me clarity.”
And the thing is… I still feel the same. This tug in my chest. Like I’m meant to wait. But then my rational brain is like, “Girl, you’re being delusional. He hurt you. Why are you still holding on?”
I feel stuck between two voices: • The spiritual part of me that believes sometimes Allah separates two people so they can grow and come back better • And the grounded part of me that says I’m just trauma-bonded and giving heartbreak a religious meaning because it’s painful
Has anyone else ever felt this — like you’re pulled to keep praying for someone who isn’t even in your life anymore?
How do you differentiate between: • actual intuition • attachment • wishful thinking • and signs from Allah?
Does Istikhara sometimes give you “stay patient” instead of “move on”? Or am I holding onto something I’m supposed to let go of?
I don’t want to delude myself. I just want clarity. I want to do what Allah wants from me, not what my emotions want. I’m genuinely asking for guidance from people who’ve been in this exact place. just to add… this whole situation has genuinely brought me closer to Allah. I feel His presence more than I ever have, and I’m grateful for that. But I also know that I don’t need heartbreak to stay connected to Him — I want to keep praying because I truly want that relationship with Allah. I just can’t tell whether I’m supposed to be praying for him, or if that’s the part I need to let go of.
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