I’m writing this because I’ve been struggling deeply with my own mistakes and I don’t know how to forgive myself.
Lately I’ve done things I’m not proud of - things that took me far from who I want to be as a Muslim. I let loneliness, desire, and anger control me. I said terrible things to my mother out of frustration. She cursed me in anger, and I’ve been terrified ever since that I’ve doomed myself. I can’t stop replaying it in my mind. I know I’ve sinned, and I take full responsibility for that. I’ve also realized how weak I’ve become with discipline: how easily I fall for temporary comfort, attention, or validation instead of turning to Allah. I want to change that. I want to feel clean again: spiritually, mentally, emotionally.
If anyone has been through something similar and found a way back to peace, I’d appreciate your advice or a du’a. I just want to rebuild my connection with Allah and forgive myself enough to start again.
FYI, I don’t smoke, drink or do drugs or anything.
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