I don't know if it's the right place to post this but, I'm broken. I don't know what to do. I feel like a failure..
A lot hs happened in my life coming from a emotionally unavailable and unsupported family. I used to have very sharp brain, I had photogenic memory. And now I struggle with everything.
I was a freelancer making good money, in my family and extended family I was the only one doing this. And then I lost interest, I started dreading it. And then someone in my family (a very close relative) started tarnishing my reputation, spread disgusting rumours about me.
And then I fell into the pits of depression I stopped working all together. Prayed for ending my misery, and wasted years.
Now I'm trying to make career change and I have lost it all. I can't remember anything, I don't get anything done. I don't think I can do it. I have chosen Data analysis as a career and I'm learning all these coding languages but feels like I'm failing, wasting so much time and achieving nothing. I am broke and I don't know when will I get a job or be job ready.
I don't know what to do I'm not a very religious person, because I have been let down by so many people and I don't get what I pray for. Right now I don't want anything except for how my brain used to be and I'm just helpless here.
I don't know what it is, if its nazar or what but I just want a way out.
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