In my life, I have always been a rational person. I naturally have this mindset where, when I realize I am wrong, I accept it without hesitation and reform myself. I do not believe in something unless it is demonstrable or, at the very least, supported by solid reasons.
For a long time, I navigated between atheism and a kind of hesitant agnosticism. I could not simply believe blindly: for me, tradition, religion, or beliefs passed down without proof had no real value. I needed to understand and verify things for myself.
A few months ago, I went through deep existential crises that forced me to reflect on the meaning of life, death, and the universe. Through my rational research, I came to recognize the existence of God. Then, by comparing different religions, I concluded—based on reason and conviction—that Islam is the truth. The deeper I went, the more I realized that Islam had answers to all my questions. I found no valid reason to ever reject it: if I had chosen another path, it would have been based only on conjecture and assumptions, whereas Islam offered clear, coherent, and complete answers.
Since then, I pray, I fast, I read, and I do my best to practice as a Muslim. I strive to live by the teachings of Islam, not simply out of tradition, but because I consciously chose them after reflection.
But here is my struggle: instead of having a completely serene heart, I still feel many doubts and inner unrest. My heart is not fully at peace—it keeps asking questions like: "Why is it this way and not another? Is this truly the best path?" I continue to search, to question, to turn things over in my mind.
And sometimes, when I see other Muslims who have a more "natural" faith, almost innate, who live their Islam with a calm heart, never questioning their beliefs, I feel different. For them, it seems easy to recognize God’s existence and to live and die as Muslims without inner conflict. Whereas for me, even though I am rationally convinced, I struggle to calm my heart.
That is why I am seeking advice, guidance, and means to find this inner peace—to soothe my doubts and allow my faith to truly settle in my heart, and not only remain in my reason.
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