Long story short I became friends with this guy in my school when we were 15, after a year we realised we had feelings for each other and after a few months we decided to do no contact to keep things halal I was VERY attached to this guy and found no contact extremely difficult as we used to talk 247 and I used to get panic attacks etc from it but eventually I got used to it We used to talk still about 2x a month but over necessary things like marriage, although it did stem into unrelated convos at time.
This boy has always struggled with his mental health ever since I met him. He has mild depression and during no contact as time went on I feel like he slowly stopped wanting marriage. We’ve had conversations about it before about if he really wants this and he was always unsure
About 4 days ago we had this convo again, I said it’s okay if you don’t want this and he was saying he feels so guilty bc I was so excited and all he wanted was for me to be happy etc. this convo went on until today and as it was going on, he deleted his number. The final messages were me saying nothing is your fault and he said are you sure and I said yeah dw . Then he deleted his number and WhatsApp everything I was shocked I couldn’t breathe I didn’t expect it to just end like that and now it’s hitting me like it’s actually over .
He was so good to me, he brought me into salafiyyah, he was strict with me and had gheerah, he was so kind and caring it was just his mental health, I believe he is an avoidant attachment and he had to pull away
I absolutely know it’s over now and im so heartbroken. We are 18 and sixth form has ended now so we won’t even see each other ever again I’m so so upset I can’t stop crying and struggling to breathe because im so upset like I feel as if I won’t be able to find anyone like him ever again and I don’t know how to move on from life from here I would appreciate any advice, and prefer not anyone saying anything that may cause me more pain.
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