Assalamu Alaikum, I’m going through something really difficult right now and I just need some advice and some perspective from other Muslims.
Three days ago, my mom kicked me out of home. And today she officially signed everything away to CPS after a conversation with social workers (and me) didn’t go well.
There were a few fights before things escalated and I do admit I did some things wrong and I regret them deeply. I’ve been making du’a, praying as consistently as i can (it’s quite difficult at the place i’m staying at now).
But also during the last fight where she kicked me out, she also hit me, spat in my face, and called me names. After that, i slept at a friend’s and my family didn’t let me back into the house the morning after. I had to go to CPS because I didn’t have any other option. (I was told at the door when i tried coming in that i was seriously kicked out. Otherwise i would’ve tried finding a solution and talking to them before going to someone else.)
What’s weighing on me now is guilt because I know Islam puts such a strong emphasis on being good to your parents. And even though I didn’t want things to end this way, I know that I still hurt her, and that I’ve done something wrong in the eyes of Allah.
I’m really trying to hold on to my iman through all of this. But I feel like I’ve been also wronged by my family. And i feel bad for not being the daughter I should’ve been.
If anyone has any advice or thoughts, I would really appreciate it. I think I just need to hear advice from an outsider perspective now. And again I would like to emphasise that despite my mother kicking me out, I really am not perfect and that I really did do things wrong, because im afraid this post will somewhat make it seem that i was in the right.
Thank you.
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