I’m Syrian but born in Europe. Since the war in Syria started, I stopped thinking about enjoying life and started focusing on fixing the world — Syria, global warming, poverty, injustice, etc. I know I can’t fix it all, but I still feel guilty enjoying anything while others suffer.
I understand the dunya will always be full of problems and that we’re tested, and I believe Allah gave each of us a personal mission. Like someone with a child with a disability might be more fit to dedicate their life to that cause — while I might have a different path.
Still, when I try to enjoy halal things like family, games, rest… I feel like I’m wasting time. I tell myself it’s ok to focus on what I can impact (like helping my parents), but deep down it feels like it’s not enough.
I feel like only those who spend 90% of their life fixing the world deserve Jannah, and if I want to live 70% joy / 30% mission, then I don’t deserve it.
How do you deal with this inner conflict?
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