I left someone I love dearly, with every fiber of my heart, it is as if our two souls were written for one another to come together as one. Every single verse in the Quran that talks about our spouse, this man feels like that. Like home, safety, love. He’s better than any Muslim man I’ve met but the problem is that he’s not Muslim.
I spent weeks, months, researching; trying to find any possible way that I can marry him in a halal way. Nothing. Absolutely nothing solid. I even talked to my parents because I feel so helplessly lost. I got their emotional support because there’s no possible way. I cannot comprehend why it’s such a grave sin for me to marry someone I love, who’s so deeply respectful of my religious beliefs, who has such a good heart, and is such a morally good person. I don’t understand. I beg Allah to show me that He hears me and I ultimately get nothing. I beg Allah to open his heart to Islam and it kills me that it’s so easy for Him to do that, something so small and simple, but he won’t. It’s killing me, I have never in my life felt such a level of inner agony and grief. This has not left my heart at peace nor at ease that I’ve left something for Allah, I just feel betrayed, and borderline questioning, because I can’t grasp why I would go to hell for marrying this man. Even if I was “otherwise” righteous? Even if I continued to fulfil every Islamic obligation and do everything in my power to live in the way of the Prophet SAW aside from this ONE thing? Even if my intentions are truly pure? This is agony. I cannot stop sobbing randomly every time I think of him. He’s so full of love and light that all I can do is pray Allah returns him to me when we can finally get married, and I almost can’t imagine any other reason why Allah would test me with this if not maybe to be the reason he finds the truth of Islam and comes to it.
[link] [comments]
from Islam https://ift.tt/xRKX4Nb
Post A Comment:
0 comments so far,add yours