Salam, there's a question circling my mind for a while and i could not find an answer for it on the internet. I'm in my late teens and i've been suffering a lot lately. I'm lonely, 0 close friends, and always disrespected by my family members (only God knows for what reason). Al hamdulilah i'm praying my 5 daily prayers constantly and following sunnah for a couple of years.
I went to the local masjid near my house constantly for a couple of months and made new "friends", only to find out that they used me as a tool for their own benefits (they rant about their lives and always want me to help them solving some problems they're facing). These people made me stop going to the masjid because i get frustrated everytime i see them. I live in a society where muslims aren't that accepted, a country that's facing one of the worst economical crisis and in a country where i'm surrounded by haram. May Allah forgive me but i usually smoke cigarettes to get "high by nictone" (the person will get super dizzy and relaxed) so i can forget the situation i'm in right now, and i usually listen to music to distract myself from sinning and from the reality that i'm in. I'm not proud about what i'm doing but this is the only thing that helps me minimize the effects of my depression. I read quran from time to time and i memorized a new surah recently (surah al mulk) which made me feel like i'm not just a trash human and a failure.
So the main question here, is me commiting this sin will be considered an exception and Allah won't punish me everytime i commit it?
(Ik about tawbah but im going to be honest, i don't have an intention to stop smoking, i'm not going to act like i will stop and lie to Allah, not because that i want to be "cool" but it's because i literally don't have anything in my life that makes me happy other than cigs and music)
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from Islam https://ift.tt/C0cQT4t
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