If anyone can offer a personal insight feel free to do so. I see more and more fahisha spreading and people are losing all sense of what healthy behaviors are. What do you guys think is the reason so many are turning to x-rated material? Not only consuming it but also producing it.
When I was consuming such material I think it was because I did not have the means to make things halal so I looked for an easy way out. Even if I did have the financial means I don't think I had the emotional or mental framework to deal with intimacy. I was confusing short term gratification and pleasure with real love and happiness.
Using s*xting and other materials as a form of control over my life. I was going through a troubling period in my life so instead of facing reality I shut my brain down completely. I did not deal with problems I avoided them, forget dealing with them I did not even want to recognize they existed in the first place. Movies, music, p*rn, s*xting, video games and high sugar intakes were my ways of regulating my emotions.
I also don't think I had any interest in my physical health at all. It did not bother me that I can sit for hours and hours and neglect my health because I just did not see why being in shape is important. Because I did not feel the need to be in shape I also used that as an excuse and thought at least this glass screen makes me feel good.
I think my attitude to how I saw life also played a part in me objectifying other humans. I became goal orientated, so the next girl I would s*xt with was nothing more than another flavor that I acquired to further my consumption habit. I was consuming anything and everything and that also translated in to how I was treating others. That lead to me not talking with the people who cared about me because I had no need for emotions. People became like books or movies to me where once I consume them I think about them for a bit and then I move on to the next one. If I feel the urge to watch a movie again I might pick up the copy and watch it, same way if I felt the urge to use a woman again I would message her, s*xt with her then move on to consuming others and other things.
Can anyone else relate to this? Or was I too far gone and I'm alone in this??
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